Hello again, friends. It is with great reluctance that I send this last warning about the scourge of bird-flu. There is a corporate media conspiracy to suppress further news of this dire pandemic in the making, but I will share what few facts I have been able to dig out.
You will remember the last time when up to eight people in Indonesia were found stricken by bird-flu. Well, right after that, they conveniently had an earthquake that killed 6,000 and had a volcano ready just in case.
Well, news leaked out that, after the earthquake, at least 18 people in Indonesia had the bird flu. That is more than a 100% increase in 12 days!
They buried the story, using the UN and the AIDS scare, pointing out that 8,000 people died of AIDS every day! True, but it ignores the fact that AIDS makes people more susceptible to diseases such as bird flu. No figures were give as to what percent of them really died from bird flu.
Furthermore, a local radio announcer pointed out that nobody has pointed out one of the greatest dangers: ostriches are birds. What if they got the bird flu? Those suckers can run over 30 miles an hour and they can peck the shit out of you. Just imagine a horde of crazed bird-flu stricken ostriches rampaging the streets of Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City!
As soon as I heard this, I also heard that two more U.S. servicemen had been taken hostage in Iraq and the death toll had passed 2,500. Very convenient!
They also announced that there was a Department of Tourism in Iraq. Now they have designated the hostage area as the “triangle of death” and Iraq, I assume, is still part of the “Axis of Evil.” However, no instances of bird-flu have been reported, so perhaps the best vacation spot is in the triangle of death within the axis of evil. Tickets are on sale, I presume.
Just be careful that you don’t run into any ostriches on the way to the airport!