How to Govern

THE ABSURD TIMES


THE DALEY
MAY HE REST IN PEACE

1

A religious episode in the USA:

Two men were on a plane on a business trip when a Muslim couple
boarded the plane and were seated right in front of them.

The two men eager to have some fun, started talking loudly..
"My boss is sending me to Saudi
Arabia ", the one said, "But I don't
want to go...too many Muslims there!"

The Muslim couple noticeably heard and grew uncomfortable.

The other guy laughed, "Oh, yeah, my boss wanted to send me to
Pakistan but I refused....WAY too many Muslims!"

Smiling, the first man said, "One time I was in Iran but
I HATED the fact that there were so many Muslims!"

The couple fidgeted.

The other guy responded, "Oh, yeah...you can't go ANYWHERE to
get away from them...the last time I was in FRANCE I ran into a bunch
of them too!"

The first guy was laughing hysterically as he added, "That is why
you'll never see me in Indonesia ...WAY too many Muslims!"

At this, the Muslim man turned around and responded politely,
"Why don't you go to Hell?" he asked,
"I heard there are NO Muslim THERE!"

2

The Muslim man must have grown up in Chicago because, as early life Cub Fans, they know scorn and failure all their life. Rather than be miserable, you learn to laugh and cope in other ways. That's what gave us Bob Newhart, Mike Nichols and Elane May, John Belushi, David Steinberg, and others. Thus one wonders why the rest of the country is so messed up.

3

As I watch the progress of the/a health-care bill, I'm reminded of how politicians should be able to govern. We seen Democrats deciding whether or not to even allow debate on health-care, much less actually vote for it. So, I have been remembering a time when some politicians seemed to actually get things done. There are some simple principles, or rules.

4

These rules come from watching the Daley practice them, a political figure from Chicago, perhaps the patron saint of politicians. People wonder how he actually ran a "city that worked," and was once described as one of "the two most powerful politicians in the country," the other being, sickly, J. Edgar Hoover. Presidents can and went, but those two stayed. Hoover was eventually too busy walking around in panty hose to be worthwhile, but the Daley practiced the art well and his methods could be followed today.

5

First of all, no politician every was successful without making sure the garbage gets picked up and the streets are shoveled, no matter what. In other words, basic needs must be met. If someone's son needed a job, and he was a member of your party, that son got a job -- doing whatever, or not. We see Obama's ratings go down now and that is because of unemployment, pure and simple. He needs to get the garbage picked up. Sure, Bush the Decider dumped it, but he has to get it picked up or shoveled away. Period. The Daley always made sure of that.

6

Second, people who oppose you or the party do not get rewarded. Adlai Stevenson, a politician of the same time, learned this too late or he may have become president. Today, Senator Looserman is Chairman of the Homeland Security Committee, a desirable position. He was appointed this after opposing the winner of the Democratic primary after which the Republicans dropped support for their own candidate. How and why is he able to talk about "joining the Republicans" in opposing even debate on the bill without any fear of loosing that chairmanship? Even though I have little respect for this Spector of Pennsylvania, at least he switched over and gave the finger to his Republican party. The Daley would make him chair of the Homeland Security Committee and let Looserman be Looserman. It would also serve as an example for others in the party. People wonder why Louisiana got so much money for Medicaid for voting the right way. In fact, The F* channel calls it corruption. Actually, why did Mississippi get so much help during Katrina and not Louisiana? Because the President was a. pardon the expression, Republican and the Governor was Republican. The governor of Louisiana was a Democrat. I don't see corruption here. Fitzgerald did not prosecute Cheney although we now find he had what he needed to do so. Why not? Both Republicans. He, however, is ready to prosecute Blagoyovitch, a Democrat.

7

He has the third rule down: lie when it is to your advantage. The Daley was actually against the Viet Nam war, but supported it publicly in order to get the convention held in Chicago. Well, that didn't work out very well, but you get the idea. The opposite is happening with Afghanistan.

8

Finally, bi-partisan is bad, not good. No matter what side you are one, it is watered down by bi-partisan. The only time it is good is when the R*s are in power.