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National Intelligence Estimate
This is a report compiled by our sixteen spy agencies. I understand it was submitted to the Administration about six months age. It states that Iran stopped its nuclear weapons interests in 2003 (as it said it did). A few days ago, the Decider, our President, may God have mercy on him, warned that Iran's work towards a nuclear war might lead to World War III. More recently, he said he hadn't read the report until last week.
Now there are people who think he is lying about this, but I think it is clear from his ACT scores and GPA that he never really developed good study or reading habits, so who are we to judge?
He also claims that the report supports everything he said about World War III and Israel agrees. Nobody else anywhere else does, but they are just poor sports.
He also thinks we need that missle battery and radar sites along the Russian border. Why? Well, to help avoid World War III started by Iran. You should know that.
So stop criticizing the poor guy. As he himself said, with respect to himself and his personality and deciding, 'PSYCHOLOGY 101 DOESN'T WORK." (He did not say which year's version of the DSM he had in mind or the year of the course, but take him at his word.) This stiuation is reserved for a course called Abnormal Psychology with is at least an advanced undergraduate course in the field. (I am reluctant to get and deeper into that issue concerning the Decider without some test results).
The Domestic Scene in Politics
Some of you have asked why I don't comment more on the primaries. Well, they haven't started yet, for one thing. Not a single vote has been cast nor a single delegate chosen. However, here are a few factiods:
- Guliani has been loosing ground, aminly because of his love nest next to ground zero at the 911 site.
- Huckabee has emerged as a Republican with at least one good statement. He is a fundamentalist Babtist minister and was asked what Jesus would think of the death penality. He managed to keep both his conservative credentials and avoid answereng the main question by saying "Jesus was too smart to ever run for elective office."
- Obama has been under attack by the Clinton campaign as too ambitious. They even pointed out that he has written an essay in Kindergarten saying he wanted to be President. Well, when asked about it, Obama said "No, no comment -- I understand she quoted something said by my kindergarten teacher in the Phillipines. I think we should stick with current -- well, no comment."
Our stoTOlympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal. Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian.
He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"
The wrestler nodded in agreement. Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold!
A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.
Suddenly there was a horrible scream, and a resounding cheer from the crowd. The trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"
