FUX FOLLIES

Rupert, Tucker, Sean, and the bottom of the barrel

AbsurdTimes

1 min ago

THE ABSURD TIMES

ILLUSTRATION

The last illustration Hugh Rallinasky did for us before his lamented death. On the bright side, he managed to escape almost the entire Trump administration.

What the Fox?

By

Dr. Faustus

So far as I can remember, we never did soil our pages with an analysis of FUX News, but somehow it keeps creeping in like an infectious slime that Capitalism can never cure, but sometimes reveal in its blatant absurdity. We can assure you that not one item here is false, each fact is substantiated by at least two, and sometimes thousands, sources. Believe us when we say that we have not the imagination to create this concoction of idiocies and fallacies on our own. We can accept the notion that sometimes a reaction occurs before an action, we can imagine multi-verses, we can accept the sudden creation of all existence as a sudden explosion with nothing before it, but the events of FUX News are completely beyond our imagination. Furthermore, we are not usual or routine FUX consumers, but we have had enough exposure now to say everything in one place (here) and then let the thing writhe to a deserved death. We will try to take a chronological approach even though factual documentation has been produced in the last couple of years or so. (The illustration above was done in 2016.)

Actually, any attempt to adopt a linear and straightforward discussion of Fox “news” is doomed to be agonizingly tedious and depressing. Furthermore, any sort of logical analysis of this bastion of buffoonery is doomed to confusion from the start. It would be like trying to put out a raging fire with kerosene. No, FUX must be approached, if at all, from a slight distance for fear of contamination and from a height looking downward into the pit of political purgatory.

Recently, a great deal of solid evidence has emerged to indicate how blatantly biased and brainless the organization is. It has become so rivetingly low, so obviously low, that their erstwhile hero, Donald Trump, is quoted as calling them (or it, not sure which we should apply here) “fake news,” a term previously reserved for CNN in general, and occasionally MSNBC, as especially for Jim Acosta at CNN. Acosta used to ask questions of who is now Governor of Arkansaw, and, after receiving the standard and glib response, would ask the same question again after pointing out that his original question had not been answered, and once again a third time. He was then passed by and someone from another news agency would re-ask the question. His White House credentials were revoked and news outlets protested. None of this was covered by FUX.

And that is one of the more serious problems with FUX, what it covers, as most of its viewers have no other source of information. They will not know a whit about the 1.6 Billion dollar lawsuit brought against FUX for defamation, a suit brought by Dominion computers. The propaganda foisted upon Dominion by FUX and its supporters is too ludicrous for anyone in their right mind to take seriously, yet many FUX viewers consider it sacred. For a slight example, Dominion was started by Caeser Chavez, the “Communist” leader of Venezuela, who died before Trump even considered running for any elected office. Chavez escaped a few assassination attempts (mainly by the Bush administration) and immediately helped Brazil escape the clutches of the IMF and Cuba to stabilize its economy. He died of cancer as did Fidel, and Lula of Brazil was put into prison by a Trump clone. In short, he died way before he could even imagine Donald Trump running for President here.

Strange paper was used and it can be identified by seeing stray bits of bamboo within. A crack team calling itself the “Cyber Ninjas” were hired to recount the votes in Arizona. Sure enough, the votes were miscounted – Biden actually got more votes than were recorded. No matter, the search for truth marches on.

What the lawsuit accomplished is much more to the point. Records of statements made by the three primary pimps of pomposity, the evening stars of FUX in the evening, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, and Laura Engram (not sure of the correct spelling of that last name) show that the last interest any of them had for their ‘news’ shows is accuracy. We will take each of them, and then make a few comments and allow this mire to return to the sludge it is.

Tucker Carlson is somehow the highest rated (in viewers) of all the hosts at FUX, perhaps in American Cable. He failed miserably at CNN and MSNBC, but he has thrived at FUX. Now every time I see him, especially lately, he has looked bewildered and confused. He looks as though someone had threatened him with something, but he could not figure out what the threat was. Also, at one point, with the vaccination issue (he opposed it), he wondered if it took away potency from males. He also pointed out that one man got vaccinated at 10:00 am one day and was dead by 10:00 P.M. This was true, but he did not mention that the man was killed by a van that crashed into him.

At one time on social media, far before Elon Musk bought it and then begged Donald T. to return (he didn’t – it would have been an admission that his own operation was not a success). As I started to say, I noted someone on Twitter mentioning that the worst person on FUX was Sheppard Smith, who was the only one I ever watched. He was a newsman, he had a high salary (about 8 million a year back in 2009) and was in charge of much administration in the news department. It may have been one of his hires that called Arizona for Biden before any other network. The tweeter announced that he could not stand him and that he would turn to other stations while he was on. I looked at the thread and it was a long string of anti-fact posse members all irritated by him. While normal people were writing sponsors to warn of boycotts because of its support of FUX, Tucker kept getting higher ratings. As the three prime-time pimps kept moving against him, he became tired of the fight.

Shep talked at length with FUX and finally was able to leave, making his departure on the air as Neal Cavuto stared at the camera, stunned. Shep was now able to state that he was gay after he left, just matter-of-factly talking about his ‘partner’ so easily that one wondered “was he talking about another guy?” At any rate, he tired of the nonsense.

At this point today, perhaps the largest sponsor of FUX is Mr. Pillow (who declared martial law leading up to Jan 6) and Tucker still looked puzzled. His main concern lately was with the exodus from FUX after the Arizona call, pointing out that so many viewers left, many going to outlets more right-wing than FUX, stating “Shares are losing

Thanks for reading AbsurdTimes’s Newsletter! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Share

value”. I have only seen clips lately, but he still looks confused.

Hannity seems a bit more sane or adjusted, stating he didn’t believe any of the stuff he was saying on air for “one second”. He also texted that Trump would be better off giving up this idea of a rigged election. It seems clear that if the wind blew into his eyes and caused them to water, he would say the wind was rigged. He would appear on stage endorsing Trump during campaigns.

Laura Engram? I really don’t know what her story is. She does look a bit bored when I’ve seen her, but that may be a superficial observation. (I’ve made a few before.)

I think the entire deal was quashed when Rupert (his real first name is Kieth, but he chooses Rupert?) stated under oath that he endorsed the rigged election points, approve of Guliani, and so on.

The main point is that none of the FUX viewers, nobody in that entire group, will ever know about it because none of them will ever be caught dead watching another station except one further to the right. Rupert stated that it was all about money, his phrase was “it’s not blue or red, it’s green”.

Well, I cut this short because it is obviously not needed. No one who should know better will ever find out, and anyone who does know already does and has nothing to do with the drivel.

Cone of Uncertainty

THE ABSURD TIMES

It almost seems like old news now, but this is the orange man's position on democracy as supplied by Latuff and MONDOWEISS.NET.  Good sources both.

THE CONE OF UNCERTAINTY

BY

Czar Donic

[Ed. Note: One worthwhile that has emerged from the last few weeks during the last hurricane is the term "cone of uncertainty".  Surely, that describes our current situation as to the degree of absurdity to come on any specific day, and hence our title.]  

Hello.  I'm Czar Donic and you're not.  I've been wanting to steal that construction for some time and now its mine.

These are the days for journalism noir.  We've had it in film, novels, and so on, and now, given current events, journalism. 

We can see the start with the inauguration of Trump.  "The largest crowd ever to attend an inauguration," and DON'T BELIEVE THE PHOTOGRAPHS AND TELEVISION COVERAGE!!!  People are easily led astray by what they see and hear.  We must learn not to listen of watch.  Simply take their words for it.  Even the person whose professional life was ruined by the lies he told in support later made fun of it on national television at, if we remember correctly, an Oscar presentation.

Almost everyone who has left this administration, according to Anthony Scaramucci, has described the place as insane to work in, in other words, a madhouse.  In fact, we would do well from now on the simply use the term "Mad-house" rather than "White-house" in discussions and reports.  The Mad-house today confirms that the President is the least racist person in the "whole world," and also be confirmed as the "Greatest in History, including the President's close friend Frederick Douglas."  The "Mooch," recently, has been trying to organize some sort of movement to get rid of this great man and replace him with someone more sane, more typical of the republican party (sort of a contradiction in terms).  At least, the "Mooch" came up with a quotable line in speaking about his only11 days working at the Mad-house "I thought I'd last longer than a milk carton."  But even Mike Pence is reported to have once thought of a journal called "Torts Illustrated," so one line just doesn't do much.

This is fairly recent:  A friend of mine who is a fairly well-known Physicist once demonstrated and then told me "Damn, I had never thought I'd be marching in favor of facts one day!"  (He never read much science fiction.) I remember seeing a woman marching hlding a sign that read "Deregulate my uterus."  There was no comment on this from the Mad-house.  Yes, the term fits.

[We owe this to Arthud C. Clarke: in the ancient days, there was a famous rug maker called Ali Hasan.  One day at court, in front of the Calif (king, leader, whatever), he farted.  He left the court quickly to avoid being beheaded, packed his rugs, and traveled other countries.  He prospered for many decades.  Finally, in his old age, he wanted to visit Bagdad once more.  He stopped at an inn where people were talking about the latest scandals at court amidst much laughter in which he shared.  He felt he was quite safe now and relaxed.  After one extremely funny story, he asked the teller when it happened.  The response was "I don't remember the exact year, but it was about 5 years after Ali Hasan farted."]  Well, the U.S. farted and other countries will never let us forget.

Keeping up with each new fart is simply silly these days.  Recently, he decided to buy Greenland.  There is a history behind Greenland going back to Erik the Red who "discovered" it, but why bother?  As a matter of fact, who remembers the Greenland fiasco now?  Disloyal Jews have voted for Democrats, so [draw your own conclusion here].  It is simply not worth it.

One of our readers responded to a reference we made that Thomas Jefferson once said that we needed a revolution every 20 years but that we were not going to try to look it up.  Well, he did and here is the full quote as supplied:

"God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion. The people cannot be all, and always, well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented, in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions, it is lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. ... And what country can preserve its liberties, if its rulers are not warned from time to time, that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to the facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure."

~ Thomas Jefferson 

Hence, the "resistance" inspired by Daffy Don.  Of course, a major problem is posed by Daffy's supporters, who are the ones most likely to be dreaming of going out and shooting up some mass of people.  Few, if any, consider carrying out such a movement against Daffy.  It is often said that people get the sort of government they deserve; well, with Daffy, the Republican Party now is saddled by the sort of member it has had coming to it for years of abuse. 

Ever heard from Sitting Bull?

The love of possessions is a disease in them. These people have made many rules that the rich may break, but the poor may not! They have a religion in which the poor worship, but the rich will not! They even take tithes from the poor and weak to support the rich and those who rule. They claim this mother of ours, the earth, for their own use, and fence their neighbor away. ... If America had been twice the size it is, there still would not have been enough.

Sounds like Karl Marx?  It certainly becomes more relevant today. 

It is certainly a ticket to an asylum to try to keep up with the blithering, blathering Babbel that comes out of the Mad-House.  I certainly expect his protoge Bolisinaro to keep burning down the Amazon forests as he encourages oil and other fossil exploration in Alaska.  Why not?

Now, as the the Democrats: right now, we are very far away from there being any such thing as viable candidates.  We are inundated with the results of polls constantly that determine the cast of debates to be shown of television.  All very profitable media exercises.  At present, three are pretty much tied as the leaders: Biden, Sanders, and Warren (listed in alphabetical order as that makes as much sense as any other).  In political philosophies, Sanders and Warren are fairly close (although Bernie is still ahead of her on that) and together they comprise about 40% of the vote.  Biden 20%, and the others combine to make up the rest. 

A problem here arises from ignorance of the voters, or a significant portion of them.  There are many who simply hate Sanders since he did not call himself a Democrat officially and who was a male who opposed the female in the last election, a corporate shill called Hillary Clinton.  Many females saw this as an attack on their gender.  Some Sanders supporters found the statement "Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a grandmother as President?" as ridiculous, and it was ridiculous.  During her debate with Daffy Don, he hovered behind her and she did not react.  At the time, most wished that she would turn and say "Get back to your box like a good little boy, or do you want a spanking?"  (Cortez would have, certainly, and so would Tulsi Gabbard.)  She said nothing.

It was clear that corporate forces worked very hard through the DNC to "rig" the nomination for her and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz would up taking the fall for that, but it was a concerted effort.  Moreover, it still seems clear that Daffy Don did not expect to win, nor did he want to win.  It was simply good marketing.  However, that is what happened and is how we would up with him as "White Power" and other such racist groups supported him.  (There is simply not enough time to explain why such right-wing corporate types like the Kock-Brothers (one now dead) are not that exhuberant about him.)

Oh, yes, Biden.  It does look as if his lead and popularity within the party will fade as time goes by, but there is still a great deal of time left.  No polls, especially those with about 5 or 6% (+or-) degree of error have any real significance today.   Actually, the only one of them, especially female or otherwise, is Tulsi Gabbard, so they will keep her out of future debates by not taking any polls, even though with the degree of error she could have 8% support.

This is too silly to bother with, but why are the Democrats suddenly or recently against Russia and the Republicans defending it?  That goes against the natural order of things.  It doesn't matter, though, nothing matters.  Dorian, named after the novel by Oscar Wilde, will do whatever it takes to screw with Daffy Don of Orange.  What else?  Oh, yes, instead of fake news, why don't we have fake tweets?  Whatever he tweets is fake.  He seems to sit of the toilet with constipation and tweet out insults at whomever until he gets relief.  Maybe he won't even complete his term by the time the election takes place.  There will always be scandals at the Veteran's hospitals and so on because once a person leaves the "service," he/she becomes a human being again rather than government property and therefore a liability.  I know because I worked with addicts at the VA for awhile and learned not only how they were treated, but also what they went through. 

* * * * * *    &&&   * * * * * *

Well, after a break, I looked back at this thing and think it's time to add a few things.  For one thing, Dorian skipped Peurto Rico (part of the U.S., whether the orange man thinks so or not) and seems head for Trump properties.  Perhaps there is some order in this universe after all.

Too much argument lately over Christianity and God.  So far as I can tell, our belief in some infinite creator stems from our habit of noticing cause and effect.  In other words, if something happened, something must have caused it.  In fact, we have never known anything else.  In ancient mythology, the earth was help up by Atlas.  Well, what did Atlas stand on?  Er, a giant turtle.  Yeah, a turtle.  Ok, what did the turtle stand on?  And so forth.  The best answer so far had been, sorry, but it's turtles all the way down.  (In other words, infinity.)

Well, the same problem happens with a first cause.  What created the universe?  In Physics, this is usually known as the "Big Bang".  Ok, what happened before that?  Well, now is where it gets interesting.  Einstein managed to get time considered a dimension somehow unified with the three usual dimensions.  However, we have since learned that there are other dimensions as well.  We need not name them (we really can not), but as we look backward into the original source of the big bang, we find that the gravity and time and the others become co-mingled to the degree that it is no longer sensible to separate them from one another.  In fact, time no longer exists by itself as a dimension.  (At least this is what Stephen Hawkings told us.)  So, without time, cause and effect is meaningless so to even consider a cause of the universe or even the original particle or whatever is impossible since time is essential for cause and effect.  Therefore, whether or not there is a God, or first cause, is meaningless.  Does that help?  No?  Well, I don't have it in me.  You can use a search engine.  :ook up "History of time," or "string theory" and don't worry if it's Wikipedia (it gets bad press.  Still, if you are still somewhat skeptical after all of that, the best recourse is to screw yourself.

Here is a religious tract one sent me recently:

My instinct was to make a sandwich, and play John Prine loudly.    

I heard Allah and Buddha were singing at the Savior's feast
And up the sky and Arabian rabbi
Fed Quaker oats to a priest
Pretty good, not bad, they can't complain
Cause actually all them gods is just about the same
Pretty good, not bad, I can't complain
Cause actually everything is just about the same"

Greta just landed in her yacht from Sweden (so chosen as to leave as little "greenhouse" effect behind).  Not just carbon dioxide by also methane gas is dangerous.  If you don't believe it, well ….  Let me tell you a story:  In High School once I was making Nitro-Glycerin in Chemistry lab.  (If you try it, don't forget the hydrocloric acid to drain off the water.)  Now, I know, teen age stuff, sure.  But this ape next to me, Steve (long slavick name ending in ick) asks me what I'm doing and I tell him and say "Now, don't mess with it."  Well, he decides to be a hero, grab the tube, and throw it out the window.  Well, we were on the third floor and the window faced a brick courtyard.  As the contents of the tube descended downwards, they seemed to pop like shots from a gun.  The teacher got up on the desk and shouted, pointing at me.  (I have no idea why he would think I would be responsible for something like that and I said "Well, he threw it out the window," pointing to Steve.  After that, the glycerin was locked up.

Now, why do I mention that?  Well, if you fart, what you fart is combustible.  Once, a friend of mine challenged me about it and I said 'If you don't believe me, next time you fart, hold a match to it."  He actually decided to challenge me on that.  When asked about what happened, he confessed to the others "I nearly blew my ass off."  So, I guess that proves that we do have climate change.

Even Fox News now uses the term on occasion, and the Orangeman has now added it to the area of "fake news," leaving nothing left as one is not supposed to believe what you see or read, either.  I am afraid; we also are beset by fake tweets.

Well, finally, as it is now September: Two mass shootings in Texas, but rest easy.  As of the first of September, you all in Texas can carry guns into your local church.  That way, if someone wants to interrupt your prayer to Jesus, you can draw yer gun and shoot him down.  Modern day smiting!  Lots more in the Walmart, but they were Mexicans.  Seven in Odessa.  Yes, we have Odessa in the U.S.  In Illinois we have Cairo and, I seem to remember, Damascus.  Who needs the rest of the world?

Of course, when Orange Leader found out that his property was in peril, he sent Magic Mike (Pence) to Poland instead and stayed here to protect the twelve Trump loosing properties in Florida.  Had to be here to sign the insurance claims.  If you suffer from Trump fatigue, you are not alone.  During that last hurricane he warned people in Alabama to shelter in place, so the Governor of Alabama had to get on the media and tell everyone that Dorian was not headed for Alabama.

Now, he says that if he is not re-elected, he will not leave.  So, what we have to do (and I'm sure the Secret Service will co-operate on this one) is go in, lasso him, and drag him to New York.  From there, he can be shipped to the other Odessa.  Problem solved. 

Now, I've already spent too much of my time and yours on this crap, so I'm sending it along.  Also, send your thoughts and prayers to Texas, or anywhere else but here. 

Crap, I forgot, all this gun violence is caused by video games and mental illness so rather than spend money on the mentally ill, we might as well keep electing them to Congress.  Actually, I think any more time and thought on this subject will lead to madness, or, as Shakespeare put it, "That way madness lies."

Virus-free. www.avg.com