The Trumpiad

{A quick note: for some reason, thais was by far the most popular and read post of the horrible last years we lived though. I am reposting it here by request. I am not sure why it was that popular (4 or 5 times any other), but it was the most fun to write.  I refered to Pope's Dunciad only because it fit as a title, but it's tone is more like the Rape of the Lock, but the same writer. Anyway, here it is.]

 So reader! if your mind is sufficiently stoic

To finish reading this peon with attitude heroic,

It will end with couplets that are called heroic,

After of ‘hero’ whose value is quite below it.

Homer had heroes aplenty for what he called the Illiad,

And Virgil a few enough to get the term the Anead.

But nothing here qualifies but that which once England had,

So along came A Pope to write the Dunciad.

So this need a name but so far none I’ve had,

Or even tried tells us the best title is the Trumpiad.

Invoke not the muse and get her incredibly bitter,

There’s inspiration enough just lower yourself to Twitter.

Every time I sit and muse on it,

In other words while taking a crap,

I can hear these monstrous quatrains emit

Words of nonsense ‘bout Donald and his pap.

So if you bear with me even when I’m frenetic,

And spout doggeral endlessly,

It’s cathartic for me,

In other words a healthy emetic.

So here follow couplets too many,

And quatrains as well,

Nothing really worth a penney,

At least I’ll avoid the bastard in hell.

The latest on the Fauci (whose truth is dreaded)

Is that he quickly be beheaded --

His head on a pike as Bannon hath saided,

"Learn from the prince you aided and abetted."

Of course they will properly call it for Biden,

For awhile, Trump even went into hiding.

Just try to find a rhyme for orange, so he is yellow,

No rhyme exists, no matter even if you drink yourself mellow.

Yes, the bombing to the west Bank continues,

As Covid and Trump utilize the news.

Of course they will properly call it for Biden,

For awhile, Trump even went into hiding.

For Kushner warned him “Don’t do that schitck,

“Cause the Hatch Act will require you to pay the legal bills.”

Donald protested “But Oren was a good guy and loyal

Why should he act against my pronouncements Royal?”

The Kush did as usual and put on a face so bland,

Not even the orange face lent him a hand.

I avoided a road block here:

Just try to find a rhyme for orange, so he is yellow,

No rhyme exists, no matter even if you drink yourself mellow.

So the Kush escaped and looked for daughter dear.

Orangeman shook his head and mused ‘cause he wanted her,

Wanted her so bad his hormones made him want to do,

Well, you know what and he still longed fer,

A chance, but then she became a Jew, he knew.

Ah, what a loss to suffer at this this hectic time,

And he could not stop the stiffening of his penis,

And here I need a rhyme and a few feet so “Thyme”

Usually found in the wild mountain, not for a stable genius.

Little he knew as he returned from his golf course,

As nobody dared speak of this ignominious defeat,

As toward the White House the glittering limosine sped,

The driver densed if he didn’t speed he was dead,

But Orange beamed as he saw a crowd Up just ahead,

And assumed the danced and cheered as they stomped and acted like jolly jesters,

He did not anticipate out his windows certain reported gestures.

Oh brass bands played,

And people jubilated,

He was indeed betrayed,

But not a bit humiliated,

“Call my lawyers” he angrily shouted!

But just then Barr and Giuliani,

Could not be found for several reasons,

He was speaking at the four seasons.

Yes he was, but not the one awaited,

But at a building site far away so named,

He stood in front of a lot,

Looking at the porn shop with its own

Customers in line, eyes blurring quite a lot,

But not for him or his slurring tones,

And what we heard he spouted as the wholly word,

All in all amounted to a political and rambling turd.

Still he was the master of all things foreign and domestic

He said he’d drain the swamp and he did,

You are forced that he is another Mr. Magestic.

We just didn’t realized how the swamp’d be weeded,

He picked the foulest creatures the swamp infesting,

And conscripted them to join his list of creatures we found detesting.

And as they saw what he was doing they would vomit,

And leave their post and left curses upon it.

(And yet again my chronology is off) He shouted,

At his driver so softly grinning,

“Get us the fuck outta here and fast,”

“Yass suh,” he replied with dreams of soon with whiskey,

“Faster so I get away from that heathen Antifa,”

“Yass suh” was the answer with the engine running more briskley,

“I mean fast and I mean fast don’t make angry you dolt”

“yas yas sir” was the answer, for this called for both whiskey and coke.

But still the Orange has such cause for jubilation

When you tally the votes cast by folks of the nation,

True he is four million short there's no need for this grill-ion,

For both got over seventy million,

And so many votes I believe doth positively demean

Half of a hundred fourty million with minds so scum filled,

That they would choose this orange Ape for President,

And keep him as the White House resident.

Think of all the indictments his Presidency has provided,

More than the gin-soaking Richard Nixon,

And all that from the White House house officially resided,

Put together and added if you really want your fingers fixin,

To punch all those keys on an adding machine

For to force one to try it would be simply mean,

A task so onerous even for a masochistic humper

That only could be designed by some onerous Trumper.

But most I go on with this most important epic,

For such it is, and epic, so defined by brilliant twaddle,

Anyone with a pen can argue with that if he is half into a bottle,

That he is his own Aristotle,

And I say it is and assertion is 9 point of the truth,

The other can be found in the Book of Ruth,

You know it was just a short while ago what was ruthless,

“Without pity” is what it means, of course unless the source was truth-less.

Where were we now, I have to pause to think,

I know it had something to do with a limousine driver and drink,

Oh yes, so Orange barged into the house that was White,

And looked for someone to bite,

And ah he found someone he could he could call a pinko,

Some heard it differently and it sounded like “Twinko”,

This I think must be rejected,

For knowledge since the 80s Orange has neglected.

Secretary of defense and a few from the Justice Department,

For it is another instance of cruddy comportment

Yet something such as this is important,

No longer are aligned with the Trump compartment,

This all In the Orangeman’s organization,

Will cause so many a precipitous vacation.

Note that the best farewell song on I-Tunes wishing luck Trump,

Carries, oh my, how can I write this here? Is titled Fuck Trump.

In fact it is the time for the couplet to end this garbage,

For a stanza for every idiocy he commits is to large.

Why it would run longer than the dullest Psychoneurosis,

To devote a stanza to every aspect of his tangled hoses.

Too much time to find an appropriate Rhyme

And even then it would not be worth a dime.

Over a dozen lies a day he spouted,

And Fox is seeking ways not to be outed.

But a separate stanza for every lie?

You couldn’t read it, in fact you’d rather die.

The first lady just went back to her Slovenia,

But found too many signs saying “Keep out Melania!”

His followers found an error in the vote count in Georgia,

Population? Oh damn that’s the country, sorry recount will gorge ya.

So that’s enough, perhaps I’ll visit you anon,

As soon as the south finishes its love affair with q-anon.

Science as Ideology

THE ABSURD TIMES

Illustration: We found this amusing and probably quite true. I do know that at one time Fauci was asked "Why don't you stop him?" when he was talking about Trump's remarks. He laughed a bit and said, "What am I supposed to do? Knock him down, away from the microphone?" Fauci's ability to maintain his sanity in times like this are awe-inspiring.

Let's Try One More Time

By

Czar Donic

The entire Covid-19 incident, or pandemic, has not really been very interesting as it has served to make every story or news event into some sort of version or aspect of itself. Perhaps it would be best to establish a few ground rules before we proceed.

In the current Zeitgeist, science has been relegated to the status of just one more ideology. It ranks along with Monotheistic religions, Conservatism, Liberalism, Socialism, Communism, and Fascism – Capitalism was banished during Teddy Roosevelt's administration to be replaced by Democracy, Manufacturing, and so on.. Often, several of these are linked together. For example, what is now called conservatism is often linked to Christianity (one of the monotheistic religions), often with absurd results if, as we do here, one considers Science as more than simply one more ideology.

It is foolish to try to argue why this independence of Science exists at all, especially when it seems to conflict with one of the other ideologies. If, for example, you believe that the earth is only 6,000+ years old, there is no point in my trying to convince you otherwise. I well-remember one discussion wherein I was provided with what the other consider "proof". He had seen an illustration of a man, seemingly a "cave man", walking next to a giant dinosaur. Surely, this was proof enough?

Well, foolishly, I tried to point out that what he had seen was drawn by someone and not real. He described the dinosaur so that I was able to determine that it was, at least a herbivore. He needed clarification. Once he was aware of that, he became more convinced. I pointed out that the animal would first probably take a bite out of him to determine that he wasn't a plant and then spit him out, but he did not take that information very well. If I remember correctly, he told me that I was "evil" and had best get to church and save myself.

At that point, I ended the conversation and resolved never to argue the importance of Science with anybody, only one of two resolutions I have always maintained. The other was a New Years Resolution never to make another New Years Resolution. I never saw any point in creating my own failures.

So, Science, for our purpose, here, is important.

I have more to say on the subject, however. I recently stated that I saw 300K+ Covid deaths in the U.S. with 500K+ deaths world wide and that we had about 4% of the world's population. I am now seeing nearly 80K deaths In the U.S. and nearly 300K deaths world-wide. This is quite a disparity. I suspect that the last figures, as of March 15, 2020, are probably more correct, but reliable data is difficult to obtain as much of it has to do with testing and analysis. There are about 15 different private company's with tests for the virus and each of them requires different machinery and equiptment, a result of private medical research and development. The latest figures given are about 80K dead here and 330K in total. Number of cases is also rather imprecise, the latest I've seen listed the states as having about one and a half million, with Russia second with about a quarter of a million or, as our new outlets would have it, Russia is second only to the United States in cases.

Now, I have a bit of a surprise for many and that is that given a random sample, the larger the population, the smaller the sample one needs to establish a reliable estimate. This is very counter-intuitive, but I have personally worked out the math involved twice, and it does hold true. It involves Probability Theory and the word "Theory" always causes suspicion in the common mind, but it does work. (No, I am not about to try to do it again – I'm way too tired and lazy.) However, we need to start with a random sample and even what that is can be controversial – a reasonable definition would be one in which everyone has an equal chance to be selected and that just will not be done. Not with the current economic and political situation. We can point out, however, that the U.S. has about 4% of the world's population and that figure should indicate that we are not being very effective.

With all of the restrictions imposed because of this virus, movie and television production has been hampered. Late night shows are all done remotely, guests on those shows appear remotely, and it all lends a strangness to the situation. One program on CBS called ALL RISE, a show about an African-American woman who became a judge, was done remotely in an attempt to keep things going, but it has failed. News programs still manage to operate, but they have always relied on remote reporting, especially since CNN began operations using satellite technology.

I need to make a hard transition here, and it is best I simply do it abruptly. There are those of you who are completely tired of contemporary events, the political situation, and so on. Up until this point, I have tried simply to focus on science and its role in society today. From this point forward, we will be commenting on the political manipulation and so on that has been going on, so those of you who do not want to see or read anything about that should simply delete or ignore further from here on.

***

Now, for the two of you who are left: you probably know that Trump recommended people should take some sort of anti-bacterial material, perhaps drink it. It turns out that about 6 years ago, Ricky Gervis (I'm not sure about the spelling, but he is on CBS after Colbert at night – assuming those shows are still functioning) said that the fact that they have to put DO NOT DRINK on bottles of bleach proves that U.S. voters could elect anyone as President. The quote was resurrected (pun intended) just recently. We have also recently heard of an ObamaGate! What does one say to that?

We know that with all the layoffs from the Covis pandemic many have lost their health insurance, but they still are against Universal Health Care. They actually seem to fear some nebulous force called "Socialism". They swallow without thinking the idea that Pol Pot, the dictator in Cambodia was a Socialist and believe that the same things would happen to them under an American form of the NHS. (Yes, I've treated some of our mercenaries who were tortured by Pol Pot's employees.) Pol Pot was no FDR. He was appointed by Henry Kissinger.

Our corporations are doing well because they have told investors that profits will be higher because they have no intention of hiring back many of the employees that are still alive after this pandemic. Republicans support Trump by 80%, the latest I heard.

Many of Trump's supporters still support him even though he is responsible for the severity of this disaster. Back when he could have done something constructive, he was afraid it would make him look bad. At that time we had only about 200 cases of the virus and a cruise ship landed with American citizens who had the virus. He blocked their entry because it "would double" the number of cases and "make him look bad." Look at it now. His followers do not care – as long as he hates Mexicans, he is their favorite. Yes, they are stupid.

Most of Republican support comes from the elderly. One of Trump's advocates, Lindsey Graham recently said that, regarding Social Security, "some promises may have to be broken." Even if everyone knew he said that, it would not change a single vote in the next election – if there is one.

In this recent hearing on Capital Hill, Dr. Bright, who was pretty much fired (details are still murky) for saying that a drug endorsed by Trump had no positive effect and sometimes does harm. He has filed a whistleblower complaint. The most information can in a string of rapid questions from Rep. Kennedy who listed them for five minutes and conveyed more information that all the previous members. It will have no effect.

People are now having mental health problems from being confined to their homes as a result of this, so they are being encouraged to go out as if things were normal. After all, if they are going to be mentally sick, why not let them get physically sick too? Then at least they will sense that it is real.

Liz Cheney, one of the more right wing nuts of the past has said: "Dr. Fauci is one of the finest public servants we have ever had. He is not a partisan. His only interest is saving lives. We need his expertise and his judgment to defeat this virus. All Americans should be thanking him. Every day." Naturally, since he bases his statements on science and fact, he is not popular with Trump Republicans. Trump says he is either confused or trying to have things both ways. He used the phrase "all sides of the equation". Ever wonder how many sides there are in an equation? Never mind.

This is getting a lot longer than I expected, but bear with me a bit longer. I promise to stop and go off and do something else, somewhere else, sometime.

This is not the Spanish flu – it is a different virus. The population was smaller then. More people died then (so far). There were no wide spead mass media outlets to cover it. Still, the town or cities where the newspapers paid attention to it had far fewer deaths than other cities (such as Philadelphia) that did not. Today, there is so much coverage, both right wing and left wing, that it is as helpful as having none at all.

We can point out that the measels virus has not been eliminated, the black plague virus has not been eliminated, and the only reason they have not been much of an issue is vaccination. Right now, it does seem that Oxford, of all places, has advanced greatly in developing one against this virus. I hope so. It would be more efficient than in the hands of a private profit driven industry.

At any rate, that is enough for now. I am really tired of all of this. Farewell!