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The Vile Scourge
T
THE UNTIED STATES OF AMNESIA
That is a phrase coined by Gore Vidal to describe our culture, and a very apt one at that. When, for example, is the last time you heard anything about the vile and vicious scourge awaiting all of us – BIRD FLU? The illustration above is your worst enemy and greatest danger. Just this week the World Health Organization said that this was a “time bomb” and on January 21st this year we saw the 62nd death from the disease in Thailand. In China they have found that bee stings can help ease the pain of the disease. It can be passed from human to human, but even if not what about sneezing ostriches? None of you can outrun an ostrich. At the end is my collected works on this evil plague awaiting us. But above all, watch for sneezing birds, and also those pigeons with diarrhea.
We forget other things as well. Fortunately, Kerry dropped out of the running for Presidential candidate, but let’s look at the others.
Edwards: He was for the war all along, but he changed his mind. Yet during the race, when asked if he would have voted differently knowing that there were no weapons of mass destruction, no terrorists, etc., in Iraq he maintained that he would still support the war. He even is talking about having a war with Iran (he said this in Israel so it wasn’t covered that much here).
Hillary: Another war supporter. Knowing that this was an unpopular position today, she took a one day flight to Iraq and came back, saying she changed her mind. Do you think people, especially women, who say they want a woman President would actually vote for one? Especially would people vote for her as she is a favorite target of the right wing talk radio crowd? The clods who listen to that stuff and take it seriously actually are capable of voting.
Obama: He is probably the closest to the views of the vast majority of people in this country, is intelligent, well-spoken, has a refreshing sense of humor, and would actually try to implement some of the programs the people want. This immediately disqualifies him as corporate forces will stop that. How? Race will begin to enter into it and, while people might actually say it makes no difference to them, inside the voting booth nobody is watching (that we know about, yet). It probably won’t get to that, though. The latest rumor started involved another stereotype: Obama is said to have attended a Madrassa. (Which is actually a kind of graduate school) when he was six. When this was checked out a proven false, the right wing Murdoch publication said the source was the Clinton campaign. When that was shown to be false, it was said to be the Edwards campaign. Edwards just shook his head and sighed.
Dodd: Same as Obama. They will have to find something else wrong with him. And didn’t he vote for the war?
Kucinich: He is allowed to run because no one thinks he has a chance. Good thing, too, otherwise he wouldn’t live out the campaign.
Hagel: How can you go wrong with a name that sounds like that? Well, he is a Republican and would have to run in their primary. He actually sounds as if he believes what he says and he is against the occupation. End of that.
McCain: To be nominated as a Republican these days, you have to be endorsed by Jesus. Remember what happened to him when he ran against Georgie. God, they were told, was no on his side. Well, who wants to be on the other side?
Well, the main point to realize is that it is a year until the first primary and another year until the election. So why all this coverage now? Obviously to cover up the scourge of Bird Flu. You can find a web site with all needed defenses for sale at www.planforflu.com and I mention that as a public service.
The flu reports
”MEA CULPA
One of you reminded me that I have forgotten the basic and most important point of this entire exercise: The Bird Flu.
It just goes to show how easily the mass media can divert our attention from the serious problems facing us by filling the news with diversions. Since the elections threw out many of the, pardon the expression, Republicans, all we have heard about is candidates, China shooting down satellites (about time, I think, enough of that stuff up there), and last Saturday 25 U.S. Troops killed in Iraq. (Hey, when I was growing up, we had hundreds die each day in Viet Nam and we didn’t ignore swine flu.)
Flu season is coming. In fact, I just heard it is due February, right when the Super Bowl is going to be played.
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THE MIDDLE EAST AND DEMOCRACY
Georgie Shrub, aka Arbusto, aka Bush, was easily overheard recently in a candid conversation with Tony Blair, more or less head of England. A microphone was on and Bush was unaware of this. I know this, because he is unaware of so much. At any rate, his solution to the invasion and attack on Lebanon was that Syria should stop “this shit.” Most disturbing about this is that it really seems that he believes that Syria could control Hezbollah (the party of God) and stop the “shit.” Tony Blair seemed to be doing his best to acquaint him with reality, but turned off the mike before we could be sure. So, according to Bush, Syria started this.
Israel indicates that Iran started it in order to take attention away from its nuclear program. It does seem likely that right now, Iran is able to produce about 1/1,000,000th of what Israel and the U.S. has daily. One Israeli who indicated that Israel had 200 nuclear weapons (about 20 years ago) was imprisoned after being kidnapped from England. He found Jesus recently.
Now, this supposedly started when Hezbollah kidnapped two Israeli soldiers after Hamas, the democratically elected government of Palestine (such as it is) captured one Israeli soldier. Our corporate owned media says so and does not criticize our corporate owned government. It also uses the term “entered” Lebanon instead of invaded. Would it have said that Ted Bundy “entered” some young women?
However, all of the was proceeded by Israel kidnapping about half of the Palestinian government. I am unable to imagine the U.S. response if some other country kidnapped half of congress and the cabinet.
This was preceeded by Israel with-holding Palestinian taxes (it’s complicated) and a U.S. influenced boycott of Palestine. These actions were a reaction to the Palestinians holding an election and voting for a government that would represent their opinions. As we all know, this is not very democratic of them.
All of this is insane to me. Oh, and I have papers and credentials that say I am professionally qualified to determine insanity, btw.
Or, there is one other possibility. You see, the facts described above are the actions of bird-brains, people with severe central nervous system deficiencies and cognitive deficiencies which could be explain by an infectious disease. What is the disease our government has been warning us about? That’s right – BIRD FLU!
Will no one rid us of this pesky bird flu?
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This just in: Another part of the Axis of Evil, North Korea, was seen putting gas into a missile it is going to test. The missal can reach the United States.
Japan has intervened, telling them “Rue besser not or rue be velly velly solly!”
Honestly, all this emphasis on death and danger just deflects us from the real issue of Bird Flu.
Oh yeah, the group that has the servicemen is the same one that has 4 Russian diplomats hostage and killed another. But that is in the Triangle of Death.
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Hello again, friends. It is with great reluctance that I send this last warning about the scourge of bird-flu. There is a corporate media conspiracy to suppress further news of this dire pandemic in the making, but I will share what few facts I have been able to dig out.
You will remember the last time when up to eight people in Indonesia were found stricken by bird-flu. Well, right after that, they conveniently had an earthquake that killed 6,000 and had a volcano ready just in case.
Well, news leaked out that, after the earthquake, at least 18 people in Indonesia had the bird flu. That is more than a 100% increase in 12 days!
They buried the story, using the UN and the AIDS scare, pointing out that 8,000 people died of AIDS every day! True, but it ignores the fact that AIDS makes people more susceptible to diseases such as bird flu. No figures were give as to what percent of them really died from bird flu.
Furthermore, a local radio announcer pointed out that nobody has pointed out one of the greatest dangers: ostriches are birds. What if they got the bird flu? Those suckers can run over 30 miles an hour and they can peck the shit out of you. Just imagine a horde of crazed bird-flu stricken ostriches rampaging the streets of Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City!
As soon as I heard this, I also heard that two more U.S. servicemen had been taken hostage in Iraq and the death toll had passed 2,500. Very convenient!
They also announced that there was a Department of Tourism in Iraq. Now they have designated the hostage area as the “triangle of death” and Iraq, I assume, is still part of the “Axis of Evil.” However, no instances of bird-flu have been reported, so perhaps the best vacation spot is in the triangle of death within the axis of evil. Tickets are on sale, I presume.
Just be careful that you don’t run into any ostriches on the way to the airport!
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Further Flu Alert
I thank all of you for keeping alert as to sneezing birds as one defense against the bird flu.
There has been talk of an epidemic or a pandemic. Now Pan was a Roman version of a Greek Good with a human torso and the legs, hooves, and ears of a goat. This is getting frightening.
One comfort has been that the virus had not mutated or evolved to be able to move from human to human, only from birds to human. Now, five people in Indonesia have been reported to have that flu and no contact with birds! Or goats, for that matter.
Anyone who is not worried now, is, using a word-coinage I recently heard on our media, anti-semantic.
Therefore, I implore all of you to watch for both sneezing goats, birds, and oriental-looking people. The only other way to be safe for sure is to move to Kansas where I understand evolution is illegal.
Take care!
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Last week the federal government released its latest report on the bird flu pandemic. Some time ago I asked all of you to report any instances of sneezing birds to the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta as this is something we just cannot afford to overlook.
Unfortunately, the administration announced that it will not close our borders in order to defend us from this menace. Now look, it is officially mid spring and many foreign birds have already landed on our territory. No doubt, many of them have already shat on our lawns and windshields. Is it too much to ask that we mobilize the F-15 fighters we paid for and have them patrol the borders? We let in all these migrant workers as it is, but we can at least launch a few Tomahawk missiles in the direction of any bird seen sneezing near our borders. This may also call for preemptory strikes against Mexico and Canada. Why, there has already been one case of bird flu documented in England already and over 300 deaths worldwide. Fortunately, most of the dead were terrorist sympathizers, but the death in England cannot be tolerated and is a wake up call. Remember 9/11!
So far, there has been no word as to whether Dick Cheney will patrol to border with his shotgun. I imagine the military has objected to that option because of the possible threat to the pilot who would be seated next to him, but these men have pledged to defend our country no matter how dangerous the mission. To make the situation even more ominous, there has been no statement from the administration that God has given George Bush any direction in this matter.
In view of all this, the bird sneeze alert is now raised to orange.
Good health to you all.
