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THE ABSURD TIMES
The Absurd Times is sending this alert as a public service. In its early days, The Absurd Times served by alerting its readers to such dangers as the Bird Flu which were raised by the Bush Administration before the events of 9/11 served it so well.
Well, now the Bush Brigade has been evicted from the White House (closed for cleaning), and shortly will no longer be around to satisfy the thirst for mass paranoia. This is a need that must be met.
For this reason, The Absurd Times has enlisted the support of the nation's foremost computer network architect and researcher as well as the nation's foremost legal mind to aid the editors own psychological expertise to supply this demand. Someone has to do it.
Bin-Laden has taken time off from his dialysis treatments to issue two tapes of warning and exhortation right at the end of this administration. He has also sent his top terrorist operatives to Canada to hatch the most devious and heinous plots.
First, the Midwest and East Coast is now in the depth of frigid weather with temperatures as low at 50 degrees below zero, not wind-chill indexes, but temperatures. Where did this weather come form? That's right -- A Canadian Air Mass.
At the same time, a flock of well-trained, what else, but Canadian Geese attacked an airplane in New York and forced it to land on the Hudson River.
So we issue this warning, beware of Canada! Especially the Geese. So that you can identify these vicious creatures, we have included a photo of one in flight. I'd ask you all to sit on your front porches to watch for them, but of course it is too cold for that.
Instead, best stay inside, and don't answer the door unless you know that a Canadian Goose is not waiting for you.
