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THE ABSURD TIMES
Just as we orbit around the Sun, the Sun orbits around the core of the Milky Way. Relative to the center of the galaxy, we're moving at an average speed of 143 miles per second—even at that breakneck speed though, it still takes 225 to 250 million terrestrial years to complete one trip around. (Just to keep things in perspective.)
THE SCUM ALSO RISES
BY
CZAR DONIC
The title is a combination of a tribute to both bald Gonza and Hemmingway to whome Gertrude Stein once said "Earnest, You're always wearing a wig on your chest." He was so poor in Paris that he sat of park benches waiting for stray pigeons stupid enough to get close him, grabbed them, wrung their necks, and too them home to feed his family. One assumes the parts given to his family, at least, were cooked. But we are trying to write about the train of recent events over the last week or so and not go insane without the aid of alcohol.
So first we got hit with the idea of bribery to get kids into "prestige" schools like UMC and Yale (a strange combination). Yale is more famous for a learning ground for suit-wearing preps who study how to become government agents and overthrow foreign governments, any foreign government. Clean cut and pure and skull and crossbones. Yeah, true Amerikans.
Which reminds us to look up tuition history. At one time in Chicago, under Dick Daley, Junior College tuition was free (one-half by the state and half by the city), just as long as you took PE. (In Champaign Urbana it was just half). That explains why I could play semi-pro baseball (once shutout a AAA minor league baseball team in Eau Claire Wisconsin belonging to the Cubs). That way, I could forget about the stupid baseball scholarship and free room and board at an all-jock dormitory that would have been Hell. Stupidity strutted down the halls with a badge of honor. Now, of course, the legislators found out that people actually learn some things in higher education, so they kept raising the tuition until only the mindless children of the wealthy could afford to go.
Next? We have to cover international stuff and also have a few snippets from Daffy Don here and there.
Turkey: Erdogan made some remark about rising eggplant prices causing his political defeats and therefore he will buy his weapons from Russia.
France: An inspiration to all of us to wear yellow anywhere. France had the same choice as we did in the last election, either an insane fascist or a well-dressed austerity junkie. They chose the latter. We choose the former. Oh,hey, civil war in Libya, but Looney John Bolton still wants to use the Libya model for North Korea. That's why fat and jolly guy from Kansas is now secretary of State. I assume the President or Supreme Leader of North Korea still sends love letters to Trump.
Boeing is angry, which makes absolutely no difference to me as I will not get on an airplane and haven't since 9/11, not for fear of terrorists, but the driving to and from the airport and trying to get through the checkout line, all of which makes it much easier and more efficient to drive. "Take you shoes off, bend over, let's search you anal cavity, you have more than 2 ounces of liquid with you, and batteries?" It's damn nuts! And we still have idiots saying "Better safe than sorry." Why is that a choice? Or rather why isn't that a choice? Let's have an airline that doesn't give a damn, says fly at your own risks, and bombs welcome? Before that, it was still strange. People would get on planes and hijack them to Cuba as it was a safer place for them. It was so strange that once Marlon Brando was arrested for saying, joking, but not letting on, "Is the plane to Cuba?"
Trumps Tax Returns – you almost only have to mention them to get a laugh. It is about as funny as a headline I saw: THE LEFT CAN'T MEME! Yes, it's funny until you find out it is supposedly a serious article about politics. So, tax returns – aren't we the only country that subjects its people to that ritual to the extent that anyone who can afford it has to hire a tax attorney or a CPA? If you can't, you probably don't have to file. Now 10 years of Tax returns made public? Give it up, folks, give it up.
Have you heard that windmills cause cancer? Trump says so. Also, the United States is like a cheap motel: NO VACANCIES if you try to cross the border with a coyote? Don Quixote!
Where are you when we need you. Attack those windmills before we all get cancer and the giants come. Wehat giants? Where did that come from?" Who cares, it's there now.
Let's heard it for the Jewish Republicans for Trump! Democrats are anti-Semitic. We know that because they use tropes. Yeah, whatch out for the wild tropes coming from the evil Democrats. Better safe than sorry. No more holocausts! If the Democrats had their way, they'd put windmills in your back yard, giving you cancer and reducing your home's value by 75%. The reason he knows this is because he lowered the value of everything he owns when it was time to file taxes, and then killed the windmills as soon as the filing was over and he applied for a bank loan. How does one go bankrupt running a casino?
Hey, we need a head of the Federal Reserve. Remember that strange black guy who used to run Godfathers Pizza and said 9,9,9 was his tax solution? He will by Daffy Don's nominee for head of the Fed. Why the hell not? He can fight it out in the alley with John Bolton.
The secret is out from England and it makes the whole Brexit nightmare seem insignificant: Details emerged that Margaret Thatcher used to spank Christopher Hitchens. We have that detail from none other that Salmon Rushdie who, I assume, is no longer under a Fatwah for his death from writing SATANIC VERSES. I don't know – he may be getting into deep mud here in exposing Maggie as a sexual predator – much worse than Pizza gate from the twisted mind of Steve Bannon.
I'm tired and you just have to take the rest as if I covered it. Just remember, and Anarchist is someone who thinks all institutions should justify their existence.
