I told you so

THE ABSURD TIMES

It seems a bit far out to announce any edition of THE ABSURD TIMES as strange, but here it is. Several things have been happening and it's about time to catch up on them.
I guess the first issue some hoopla I've been overhearing about the Cubs finally winning the World Series. The Red Sox had the so-called "Curse of the Babe," referring to the sale of Babe Ruth. They finally won the World Series, coming back from a 0-3 deficit, the first time that has ever happened. So, anything is possible, right? Nope.
First of all, the Cubs have to settle for a curse of a billy goat, not someone like Babe Ruth. Any idea as to the last time the Cubs won the World Series? Here is an illustration:

That is a photo, taken 1oo years ago this month of the first demonstration of a flight by the Wright Brothers -- it lasted 90 seconds, I understand. The next month, the Cubs won their second straight World Series. And their last.
True, they did get into the world series in the 40s, so we nuked Japan to celebrate. But that has been it. The Cubs will not win the Word Series this year.
Cubs fans will not believe it. Think of it this way: it was not until the late 80s that the Cubs got lights installed and decided to play night games. Any idea what happened? No? I'll tell you: networks from all over the world came to cover it. Bill Murray sat in the broadcast booth, free. The biggest event in baseball history. Well, it was rained out in the third inning -- it wasn't even an official game. The Cubs will not win the Word Series this year.

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THE NEXT DEPRESSION:
When all the fuss about Sallie Mae happened, I said this is just the beginning. Starting with Reagen, but reaching its culmination in Bush 43, every single measure taken by FDR to prevent another depression has been weakened or eliminated in order to "get the government off your back."
The Depression started with the policies of a prominent Republican, Herbert Hoover, who was recently quoted by John McCain:



After Hoover had his depression, FDR came along and adopted many of the policies advocated by Eugene Debs:






Since Debs was right, and since his ideas offended big business, he was put in prison by Warren Harding, the most corrupt President of the United States, at least until Richard Nixon came along, who held that honor until Bush 43 came along. Anyway, the last program in the FDR tradition, Medicare, came in the 60s and it, along with Social Security, would be given to the stock markets, like the one we have now, if George 43 had his way. Obama at least voted against it, McCain for it. right now, AIG has lost 90% of its value and there is talk of a bailout.
We don't need a bailout -- nationalize the damn thing. Nationalize Exxon-Mobile while we are at it. Nationalize every money sucking corporation on the Dow Jones. And be sure to nationalize Haliburton while we are at it -- that will keep us out of any future wars. Don't "privatize" what is working, nationalize what isn't.
Of course, they'd be after me if this had wider circulation, just as Harding did to Debs, but there is strength in invisablity. Who'd listen to that much common sense?
Besides, McCain has the answer: appoint a commission, just like 9/11.

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This leads us to our final point, Obama's big mistake. We don't have to see Palin, explained below, or hear McCain quoting Hoover to know Obama's big lie. He said, "The American people aren't stupid!" Now let's face the truth: without that half of the electorate in love with Pain and devoted to McCain, the rest of us would only be normal.
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The following was sent to me by one of your who had it sent to him. I don't know the source, but if you are and want credit, just comment. If you want it deleted, so be it.
Anyway, here it is:

I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....

* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."

* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you are a quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

* If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.

* If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

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OK, it's much clearer now.