Monday, April 08, 2024

TRUMP/GREENWOOD BIBLE -- A REVIEW

THE TRUMP/GREENWOOD BIBLE

BOOK REVIEW

THE ABSURD TIMES

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Now to the situations and the first person seems warranted. I have no idea how and who is interpreting what is going on and suspect most have just shut themselves off. I think the very strange man with the orange hair, on the other hand, fortells the Apocalypse. The Zionist entity, a cancerous blister on the face of a sickly world is spreading and increasing it its foul puss, killing those who have no weapons and saying it was "unintentional".

So we need to refer to what is called in AA meetings a "Higher Power," in this case, the Donald Trump/Lee Greenwood version of the KING JAMES BIBLE. If anyone out there can help clarify or answer any of the issues raised, surely what is left of civilization will be thrilled and perhaps relieved for the help. No research was done for this version – only that accumulated over the years and from various sources, but specific verses and authorities, much less page numbers, do not come up much on conversation and hence fade from the memory.

You can obtain much valuable background from a film called INHERIT THE WIND, a rendering of the main issues from an actual trial over the legality of Darwin in Ackron, Tennesee (not "Heavenly Hillsboro, as in the film"). All the characters were real, the dialogue is close to that in the trial transcripts, and it discusses the very King James version of the Bible, yes, the real version upon which so much of our attitudes and beliefs are based and which is available for only $59.99 from Donald Trump (CAUTION, PAGES MAY STICK TOGETHER). The book itself may spur on a new mantra, MAPA (as Donald has it, MAKE AMERICA PRAY AGAIN). Hey, I shit you not. The movie has been done three times, with Spencer Tracy, Jason Robards, and Jack Lemmon as the great Clarence Darrow. If there is interest, I'll review those productions in another edition.

Now for the world as this "Good Book" portrays it. The Donald presents us with the entire book, although for about a century the parts of it that Thomas Jefferson considered "nonsense" were ripped out of his edition, but all Senators and Congressmen, and OFFICERS were sworn in on it. Does God (see illustration above) accept that?

Well, we do need to have a bit of background as to how this book germinated. Earlier versions, in a form of Hebrew, were written down or scribbled, and the fashion then was to just use the consonants and forget about the vowels, an expedient that is about 89% reliable. Of course, that leaves at least some of it unreliable.

My first interest in this whole thing excluded Wycliff and any other translation. It is strictly King James (er, he followed Elizabeth I, the age of Shakespeare, Spenser, Marlowe, Ben Jonson, and a slew of others). So, how did this whole miserable existence start? I'd followed Hoyle (steady state universe), expanding, also followed by contracting, black holes, and so on, but never found a first cause. This could very well be a result of custom overcoming logic as we are conditioned to think in terms of cause and effect. Suppose effect comes first?

So, as best I can remember, it all started with "let there be light!" Well, that certainly beats working in the dark, but where is the light emanating from? From behind the Firmanent.

See, there was this firmament, and God "Parteth" it. Now where was this firmament and what was it doing? So, I guess we are in the second day, but you realize that the sun doesn't come into this until the fourth day (as the movie points out) so how long was the first day and how are we measuring it? I don't think we are going to get very far with this idea, so let us jump ahead.

Here is only the first of several pronouncements, perhaps laws, that is repeated several times through these pages. It states that "If a woman grabbeth a man by his secrets, her hand shall be cut off".) I actually do not remember the exact penalty for grabbing your man by his secrets, but it was severe. Several times when a social event morphed into a conversion conspiracy, I asked these humans what the secrets were, but got no answer. At most, the female members of the force simply bowed their heads to the floor, hoping that no divine wrath would befall them. i HASTEN TO ADD THAT THERE IS NO SUCH RULE ABOUT PUSSYS.

Careful, kids, the same is applied to you, so it's best you leave daddy's secrets alone. I'm not sure what they are, but it certainly seems like an insalubrious gesture to me, so best to ask your local priest – and bring the TRUMP/LEE GREENWOOD Bible with you.

The next one was first mentioned by Mark Twain. It seems there was this guy named Jereboam and God warned him to behave or he would separated "from those who pisseth against the wall". I imagine this was a very severe punishment, but there are other ways and places to relieve the pleasure. If you are confused about what this means, even Luther figured it out and it is in his translation.

The first time I heard David Steinberg's sermon on Job was in Chicago where I worked a bit at the Second City. He was mimicking a Rabbi he knew in New York. I was not a very good candidate for full-time activity because, although I could make up good lines when confronted, and start far-out situations, I never could remember my lines when it came to act or present them. That is something to remember when you hear someone claim they do things extemporaneously: actually, they have just about every situation done and rehearsed before it is even shouted out from the audience. The sermon ws the reason the Smothers Brothers was cancelled by CBS.

So Job is interesting because Jaweh sounds so stupid, arbitrary, and gullible that he does all sorts of ridiculous and sadistic things to Job just to show Satan how much people liked him. The whole thing about this religion caused Voltaire to attack Christianity because it was just a disguise for the same thing and later, in the Middle of the Twentieth Century, Jung mentioned that the whole Jesus birth and re-birth idea was God's way of straightening out his act.

Just one final topical item: somewhere in the Old Testament it is mentioned that God wants certain abortions to take place, mainly involving slaves who got pregnant.

The last issue, Revelations, is beyond me. It is some sort of allegory. In an allegory, one or more characters are posited as representing some value. Edmund started off with an epic on Holiness, and his adventures feature the forces against him. He is the Red 'Cross Knight. The next is moderation or Sir Guyon (Gee youn). An antagonist on holiness is Duessa, or duplicity, and so on. This goes on for a long time and Spenser dies before he finishes a bit more than six epics. I've written extensively on this.

REVELATIONS is completely beyond me. A plethora of horned demons, horses will, fire breathers, and so on infest the book. I simply assume it is the product of too much peyote and acid and whatever uppers were available. Frankly, I simply leave the entire project to fans of canon law.

So, I've seen enough proof the Trump/Greenwood book. I have heard reports that some of the pages stick together. I hereby relinquish any further interest in book reviewing.

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