THE ABSURD TIMES Thanks for reading AbsurdTimes's Newsletter! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. WE'RE NUMBER ONE! By HONEST CHARLIE No country can even come close to us when it comes to individuals taking it upon themselves to shoot as many people as possible at one time. We have them all beat and they hang their heads in shame as they look at our record. They reek of despair at the mere thought of even trying to match us. When it comes to American initiative, we always come through, accomplishing records that other countries have no hopes of even comprehending, much less achieving. People sometimes (except during WWII) think of Asians, especially Asian-Americans as very quiet and docile, and double this for the Chinese ones (our Japanese Americans come from a country that looked down on the Chinese as they were not purebred) and also some of the others. Well, our good Asian-American citizens stepped up recently and did their part for their country. When they decided to take action, they follow through. First a mass murder in Southern California (another was attempted but another took his gun away). We could not allow Buddha to be drawn into this, so we called him a "good Samaritan". People were prone to dismiss this as another Southern California fad, so another mass murder was carried out near Berkeley. Take that. Well, there used to be a lot of counterculture there, so another was carried out at a mushroom farm back down the map. This is another example of assimilation. All in all, this year we are at a pace to set records that only we have a chance of approaching. We managed 40 mass murders in only 25 days. We here have no intention of even attempting to match that. Yes, we have other gun deaths such s in Omaha Nebraska, but only two died. You have to manage at least four for it to count. And the Asians were mostly in their 60s and 70s, celebrating the year of the Rabbit. Just recently a six-year-old shot a teacher with a pistol, but even he was not able to hold his record for long as a four-year-old was recorded carrying a loaded pistol and aiming it at someone and squeezing the trigger. His diapers were no problem, he hadn't yet figured to disable the safety so nobody got shot. Still, the kid TRIED! The kids in France don't even come close. Yes, we're number one! Behind much of the gun spreading here is supported and defended by the National Rifle Association. They are a front for gun manufacturers and low-life slimeballs, yet many people join and have no say in what it does. It makes them look "rugged", it seems, and thus attractive to voters, or at least is a defense against enormous spending against them if they are politicians. They are so corrupt that they would support George Santos if they could just figure out what he was. Right now, he seems to have just appeared out of nowhere, or Erehwon. It is so corrupt that Ollie North could not take it, or at least that is how it appears.[1] He left after a short while. As a reaction to this way of thinking, critics usually scoff at the idea and attribute it to the musings of one who can not shoot a gun. So: I have shot rifles at many various times and places in my life. Even in those arcades, ten shots for whatever. (The secret here is to sight along the barrel and to forget about the gun sight (they are all a bit off-balance on purpose). In fact, I once had an entire gang (like a gang gang) observe me and never had a problem with them thereafter. Admittedly, the first time I only took one shot. I was ten and it was a heavy shotgun. I had been duly warned to keep the stock against my shoulder, but after the shot, I was nearly knocked down and also felt that my shoulder would never work again. (Just being completely honest, that's all. Eventually, my shoulder healed and I was eventually to throw beanballs[2] with the best pitcher in the league (never came in first, however, however much I tried). Still, how would something like this be handled in another country, you know, one of the sissy countries? It took 5 days (or was it five weeks?) for the leader of New Zeeland to pass a complete ban on the damn things after that ass shot up two Mosques and she would not publish the nut's name, either. This denied him any publicity. Of course, he could content himself with the thought that Allah knows, but that's an entirely different problem. In Tennessee, a black guy was beaten for three minutes by five black police officers. That would seem to take racism out of the situation and leave us with stupidity and cowardice. How does one recognize a problem? See first if they are wearing a uniform. We all saw the video of the beatings. Three minutes of steady beating and kicking. It was a special unit. It seems, called "Scorpion". How nice. After the video with the voice or audio was released, the real reaction set in. People were outraged, and yet they must have known that this sort of behavior goes on every day. The five police were fired and the "scorpion" unit (referred to as an 'elite' unit) was first suspended, and then dissolved, permanently. Jumbled Jim Jordan is in charge of a "weaponization committee" and announces that it is the new Church Committee. It is not. We really have reached the point where we hope that these people really know reality and distort it for a political position as to think that people in the U.S. will elect them if they distort reality enough to satisfy them. Otherwise, we have to believe that these people actually believe the crap they espouse. I have heard enough times that he enjoys looking at naked wrestlers showering, but even that does not measure up to how stupid this entire situation is. Is it possible that he really thinks that Democrats "weaponized" government in order to – what? Get rid of Trump? Groom children? No, it is far easier to believe he is playing a game with the intellectually challenged as the thought that such people actually believe what they say. One uncle of mine in Chicago told me that when he moved from the Sun-Times to the Chicago Tribune. The kind of positions the "Trib" took was vile, but at least it was a newspaper. Since Murdoch bought the Times, it was soon to be anything other than a newspaper.[3] So, the next issue becomes mass murders in Israel as they are managing about one a day, but only individuals, and only Palestinians, so perhaps this is not mass murder. Now, in this country, it is not nice to say anything against Israel as it causes trouble and there are more Jewish voters than Moslem voters. Politicians are also afraid of being called "anti-Semitic" or supporting the holocaust, although they really have no idea what that means. It was very confusing to many of these MAGA-type Republicans to see a bunch of strange bumpkins shouting "JEWS WILL NOT REPLACE US," as they really didn't know how to react until the Orange man said there were nice people on both sides. My own reaction was to wonder how many Jews would even WANT to replace these clowns. (I certainly would not.) At any rate, they do selective kills at the rate of one a day. The Supreme Court over there told Netanyahu to get rid of the really obvious fascist there, and Benny did. He also started to "defang" the Supreme Court. What people do not understand is that one can not be a Jew and a Zionist at the same time, just as one can not be a Christian Nationalist and a Christian at the same time. They are different and mutually exclusive categories. Pick one or the other, then open your mouth. I was about to talk about it in relation to the "Scorpion" unit when I saw the following: Here is the Jewish Voice for peace: "Jewish tradition says that to kill a single person is to extinguish a whole world. Yesterday, the Israeli military launched an attack that killed ten Palestinians in the Jenin refugee camp. Earlier today, a Palestinian killed at least seven Jewish Israelis near a synagogue in a settlement outside of Jerusalem. Already in 2023, the Israeli army has killed almost 30 Palestinians. We grieve the heartbreaking loss of life, and we rage at the root causes of all this violence: the Israeli government's brutal apartheid and settler-colonial rule over Palestinians." [4] We are still waiting for some resolution in Europe to the War. It is befuddling to me that we do not hear stories about the raping that filled the news at the beginning. Did Putin say to his army "Hey, stop the raping! It doesn't look good!"? I know it happened right after we here asked what military strategy rape was. Now the talk is about nuclear war, tanks, and drones. Well, one grows weary of this creature called Homo Sapiens. Also, just on a personal note, I am tired of hearing over and over and over again the phrase over and over and over again instead of "repeatedly". Why the need to say over and over and over again that it is over and over and over again something that one mentions over and over and over again? The word is "repeatedly" and you no longer have to say it over and over and over again! [1] Ollie North was the all-American boy who toiled away in the basement of the White House to send money to the Alatollay-in-Chief in Iran to send weapons to terrorists in Honduras to overthrow a Sandanista leader in Nicaragua who showed dangerous signs of caring about the people in his country rather than our own all-American corporations. Congress had made such direct "aid" illegal. He was never prosecuted as the Attorney General, yes, William Barr, did not think it wise. [2] That's a pitch one must learn because otherwise, batters get the idea that the entire plate is open to them when only the outside is. When the minor leagues started using aluminum bats, hitters became outraged that a pitcher would actually hit them with a baseball. See, a wooden bat would break if held improperly and the batter stood inappropriately, but an aluminum one would not. In other words, they did not learn their place in the minor leagues and had to be taught, usually by an opposing pitcher, all about it. [3] This particular Uncle was Mike Royko and you can find him on YouTube in conversation and argument with Studs Terkel. Now, the question really became was he really an Uncle? Now that is a tricky question in Chicago with all families of multiple generations where someone is somehow related to someone else. It was actually mysterious. Now, I liked his column very much so I went ahead to meet him once while he still wrote for the Daily News, Now both newspapers were owned by Marshall Field as eventually channel 32, called WFLD. Well, he said that he had heard that I was his nephew, so we then tried to figure out the exact lineage. We failed, and after a couple of hours and several beers, gave up and simply decided to accept it and the hell with the details. Later on, he did give me some good advice on several occasions and I was grateful. I very seldom mentioned our connection and he did the same. He didn't want his foes (and he was adept at creating them) knowing anything personal and I was away at college in different cities in Illinois. (The rest is history.) His best seller, BOSS, about HIZZONER, Dick Daley was banned at the A&P. He remarked that Banned in Boston helped sell copies of a book, but Banned at the A&P did not help much. Yes, he had a sense of humor. That may be why we got along. Go figure. [4] You can find this objective and informed site by typing JVP into any search engine. It is not only accurate but has the full authority of a professional Jewish Theologian. Thanks for reading AbsurdTimes's Newsletter! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
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© 2023 Honest Charlie |
Sunday, January 29, 2023
Fwd: Guns and Cowards
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