IMPEACH FOR FUN AND PROFIT

THE ABSURD TIMES

Illustration: Every so often our editor likes to make a statement. 

The Impeachment Show

By

Czar Donic

So, where to start?  Why would we want to impeach Donald Trump.  He has, after all, made every previous President of the country seem competent.  That is quite an accomplishment.  Even Herbert Hoover, Grant, and others look better. 

Trump often quotes Abraham Lincoln, well, actually, refers to him as a Republican.  Perhaps this is where he got the idea that Frederick Douglas is "doing some good things?"  There is a great deal of talk about "reparations" these days and much is made of the fact that slave labor was used in making the White House.  We could do well to remember that Lincoln once invited Douglas to visit with him at the White House, but that the guards would not let him in.  Lincoln had to come down personally to have the guard let him in.  Lincoln never really understood how to be a Republican, so they shot him.

So, maybe it is worth taking a look back.

I had a friend who was on the ship Israel attacked just off of Gaza in '67. Golda Meir did it, and then turned the war into a fundraiser!  She stated, in a semi-Yiddish accent that she had no business using as she came from Milwaukee:  "You don't know how much a war like this costs!" And then asked for contributions.  Every little bit helps, you goyem.  After all, it's only been a quarter Century since the Holocaust.  Never mind that 30 million Russians were killed.  Does anyone else still get those mass mailings about a Jewish bag lady in Israel who is a holocaust survivor with no pension plan?   If you do, forward them to the White house.  After all, why not cut out the middleman?  Anyway, she did support our adventure in Viet Nam, but of course LBJ did a great deal of arm-twisting, after all.  Such arm-twisting is how Medicare got passed.  Obama could have learned at least that much from him for the "public option".

The first person to be signed up for Medicare was a President who had tried to start it in the first place: Harry Truman.  That's right – they did not have such a good retirement arrangement back then. 

I'm not sure as to how many countries have mass demonstrations regularly now.  I can cite France, Algeria, Chile, Portugal (giving target practice for the troops), Hong Cong, Lulu having to leave Brazil, etc., all accomplishment of our governments, just off hand and there are many more.  We supported a coup in Bolivia and got rid of the pesky Morales.  Saudi Arabia has a housing shortage in its jails as does Egypt.  This is considered an efficient way of reducing complaints, as does chopping up American Newsmen in its embassies.  It also makes money for U.S. arms dealers as the Saudi's buy all sorts of weapons in order to bomb wedding parties in Yemen.

People find our primary system a bit puzzling, but it works this way.  We only have two parties, essentially, despite the fact that just about anyone is free to create a party of their own.  These two parties are called (pardon the expression) Republican and Democratic.  So, if anybody wants to run for an elected office, they have a pre-election wherein anybody (within limits that vary with the winds) can run for the nomination.  Take for example our last Presidential primary. 

The Democrats could nominate either Bernie Sanders (whose ideas are now adopted by a majority of present candidates) or Hillary Clinton (whose main credentials seemed to be being a grandmother, a female, an ex-first lady, a past member of the Wal-Mart board of Directors, and experience as Secretary of State, and engineering the Maidan massacre (the overthrow of the Ukrainian government, much to the irritation of Vladimir Putin).  She had support from corporate interests (she was, after all, despite her past as a Goldwater Girl, a "moderate") and Sanders had support from small donors who were tired of establishment politics.  (To be fair, Obama was liked because of his intelligence and ability to speak English, but suffered eventually because he was black).  He serves as a model for Trump's office as Donny will ask, "What would Obama do?"  Once told, he would do the opposite.

Just about every poll I have seen indicates that Sanders would have defeated Donald Trump for President, but he clearly did not appeal to the big money interests.  Now he has the support of most of the more popular Democrats, but that support is diluted by the fact that others plagiarize most of his ideas and one is a woman, and one, an ex-vice President, poses as a moderate.  The problem comes in when all of these candidates snipe at one another rather than at Donald Trump, a much more deserving target and who is impervious to attack from his "base," some 20 to 30% of the American population that is militantly stupid.  Now Bloomberg registers in Alabama.  I know it was the deadline, but I could not help wondering, "What kind of base does a guy like Bloomberg have in Alabama?  Sort of akin to rap music?"

One disturbing element is that there seems to be a desperate effort to get some sort of "moderate" nominated.  Right now, many, many corporate sponsored or owned media companies are filled with "experts" talking about the need for someone more "centrist" in this next election.  One asks, is Donald Trump a centrist?  The response seems to be, all too often, that only a "centrist" could beat him.  Both Sanders and, yes, Warren seem to have far more support and we know that Standers would have defeated Trump in the last election.  The terror that the powers that be, the billionaires, have is palpable.  (A couple are even running themselves to further dilute the field.)

It seems that they would much rather put up with four more years of Trump than elect someone who has such progressive ideas – ideas that would seem moderate to the rest of the developed world.   If the Democrats do nominate a "moderate" Trump will be re-elected, despite the well-deserved ill will he has earned by the majority of the country.

Another "moderate", the openly gay Mayor from Indiana, Major Pete seems semi-popular.  Would someone please work out the pronunciation of his last name and transcribe it to the IPA?  I'll even accept ɶ as the ligature as it is the closest I've been able to find on my keyboard.)

In another development, Jim Jordan, the wrestling coach and Trump supporter, has now been named in a lawsuit about sexual abuse that happened while he was a coach at that same University.  He was just appointed to replace a weaker Republican on the committee doing most of the impeachment hearings in order to bring more a more aggressive defense to the cause of Donald Trump.  Look for his on television during the hearings.

Somehow, it seems appropriate to talk a bit about our foreign policy tendencies, as they seem to be the only thing that might get Trump kicked out, out on his ass.  Our foreign policy is based mainly on money, both for the fossil fuel industry and, more urgently, the weapons manufacturers.  There seems to be no other consistent explanation.  To simplify, we can move straight to recent history, skipping the "World Wars" and Korean "Police Action".  It is worth pointing out that the new network programs always proudly announced, during Korea, that they were shipping cartons of cigarettes to our soldiers.   Let's skip directly to Viet Nam and end there. 

There actually was no real war in Viet Nam for us at first.  Even when JFK was President, we had only 20,000 soldiers there, all volunteers, and all called "advisors".   So, that seemed to leave about 15 years or more since we had a nice, real, war, (we called it a "Police Action," kind of what Mayor Daley enacted in 1968 Chicago), but JFK did not seem very interested in one.  Obviously, he had to be disposed of.  JFK also did not like Alan Dulles' lying to him about issues, and he therefore fired him.  So, JFK was disposed of and replaced by LBJ who, it is important to point out, ran as a peace candidate.  The opposition party, the Republicans, ran a guy named Barry Goldwater who loved the John Birch Society (which was sponsored by the father of these who started the "tea Party), promised to bomb North Vietnam into the Stone Age, and do all other sorts of manly things.  Since the targets would not be white guys, many thought this would be a good idea.

Well, he was knocked out of the race for re-election by a senator from Wisconsin, named McCarthy.  As a result, brother Bobby (RFK) decided to run as well.  It seemed that he was likely to win, so he was killed.  We have to remember that the so-called Warren Report on the assassination of JFK was really headed by Alan Dulles, that's right, the guy that JFK fired a year before. 

RFK was killed by associates of J. Edgar Hoover, by proxy, three bullets into the back of his head.  Sirhan was at all times in front of RFK.  This fact was never mentioned at his trail.  (His rehearing was opposed by Kamela Harris when she was Attorney General of California).  At any rate, this war was the first to cause a real emigration problem as many Americans left this country for a more sane Canada, only to be pardoned later on by Jimmie Carter (taking notes?  There will be a test.)   His administration actually invited Arlo Guthrie to the inauguration.  (Alice's Restaurant, in case you forget or need to look it up.)

Well, Vietnam did not prove very popular with people who were supposed to go and kill these brown skinned people.  At the same time, black skinned people in our own country were still having difficulties.  They had MLK to lead their demonstrations, which were supported by many white people as well.  There were cultural difficulties, of course, but by and large, all groups joined together. 

There were many black leaders, not just MLK.  Malcolm X was around and a very inspirational leader.  His radio broadcasts were centered from a radio station in Evanston Illinois just off of Howard Avenue (or was it St.?).  Many whites at the time thought they would like to sign up with him, but he led the Black Moslems and was unlikely to welcome white people to be members of his congregation.  He was very religious and principled and, therefore, soon ejected from that particular church.

Well, we need to go back to cultural differences and MLK who at least seemed open minded about "white folk".  Unfortunately, he did not completely understand either Chicago or Richard J. Daley.  There had just been a race riot after the fire commissioner turned off all the fire hydrants in the blacker sections of the city.  It was a very hot summer and that was the only place the kids had to get into the water and cool off. 

Before we get into that fiasco, let me point out that he did make one statement in favor of separation of Church and state.  When the Catholic Church, which was powerful in the City, tried to censor certain films and told Daley he should ban them, he said "Ya wanna tell me wut ta do wid dis city, den pay the property taxes like all da citizens."  That ended the religious movement in government in Chicago.

Well, MLK came to Chicago to meet with the mayor.  King talked about segregation, discrimination, education, none of which went over very big.  (To be fair to the Mayor, and to explain a bit about Chicago, redlining would be imposed anyway.)  In one instance, there was a riot when a couple tried to move into the wrong neighborhood.  Was it race?  Well, the fact was that a Lithuanian couple tried to move into a German neighborhood.  People in Chicago took these things very seriously.  However, there was one proposal that Daley liked.  At least turn the hydrants back on.  Now, Daley liked that idea.  He even rounded up kids from those neighborhoods and bussed them to the appropriate beaches on the lake!  Over and over again.  Why, Chicago's black children were at least the wettest minority group in the United States.  Dick Gregory mentioned this once.

MLK was eventually killed right after making a speech against the Vietnam War.  (Ah, nostalgia, don't you love it?)  It is worth pointing out that some of the more principled of Daley's advisors quit and, when asked why, "Ahk, he started believing some of da stuff he wuz sayin!" 

Now, many years later, we have a total idiot running the country and we are in the process of impeaching him.  He is far too stupid to make a coherent defense, so he makes a shifting, moving target.  But this is going to be fun, at least.  I hope some of it is run against the reality shows on Prime Time TV.

It actually seems kind of stupid to keep this thing publishing.  What's the point?  Well, maybe some day I'll figure out something.  For now, however, I will leave you.  Have fun watching the impeachment hearings.  Oh, and watch out for that Jim Jordan – keep him away from the younger men.