Censorship and things in general

Recently there has been a lot of discussion about the Bowlderized version of Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn.  When Twain uses the term "nigger," it is always clear that he does not condone it and that he is attacking those who would.  The way Huck uses it is sardonic throughout.  However, a new edition is out now that uses the word "slave" in its place.  The word is so sensitive today that even in a philological discussion, the term "N word" is to be used (so nobody really knows what the word really is and, hence, doesn't offend anyone or encourage anyone to use it).

During Twain's time, even, the book was banned from the libraries.  Twain delighted in writing letters and articles to these librarians pointing out that they did have unexpurgated copies of the King James version of the bible and thought nothing of it.  Here are some of the passages he had in mind, especially the first:  

1 Kings, 14.10: Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone.

1 Kings, 16.11: And it came to pass, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, that he slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a wall, neither of his kinsfolks, nor of his friends.

1 Kings, 21.21: Behold, I will bring evil upon thee, and will take away thy posterity, and will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel,

1 Samuel, 25.22: So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.

1 Samuel, 25.34: For in very deed, as the LORD God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.

2 Kings, 9.8: For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel:

There seem to be other movements, including airbrushing the cigarettes out of all Bogart movies, getting the word "fuck" out of Catcher in the Rye,  Bernard Shaw seems to have outlasted the reactions against his use of the word "bloody," and we can multiply these examples endlessly.

A friend of mine who has his training in Theology surmises that the word "pisseth" has something to do with procreation, but using the word "pisseth" and "cut off" in the same sentence with the meaning of procreation does not bring pleasant thoughts.

Some other ideas:

I will never become a "Born Again" Christian. Puberty was bad enough the first time around.

There was no pardon for Billy the Kid. What about Dennis Means? That's right, he is more in a position to pardon us rather than the other way around.

Recently, Janet Napolitano went to Afghanistan to solve the "border problem." She will probably suggest building a wall. Why not? China built one.

Recently, someone objected to someone saying we lost in Viet Nam.  How about "we came in second?"

Er, we did lose in Iraq.  So did everybody else.

Last year, over 700 U.S. troops were killed.  Obama just sent 1,400 to replace them.  Just so there are no "back orders"?

John Boehner was handed a huge gavel to use as Speaker of the House.  I can hear Mae West "Is that a gavel in your hand or are you just glad to see me?"

Well, that's enough.  At least I posted one for 2011.

Oh, and I've kept my New Year's resolution from decades ago: Never make another New Year's Resolution.