Easter, Miracles, and Pirates

THE ABSURD TIMES

Easter has just come and gone. Easter is a religious holiday celebrating Jesus' rising from the dead. If he sees his shadow, there are 6 more centuries of colonialism to come.

The release of the Captain of a cargoe ship was seen as an Easter miracle. This show how supersititious people really are. It is as clear as daylight that it was the hanging of yellow ribbons that saved the captain. this is based on a logical proposition called, in Latin, POST HOC, ERGO PROMPTER HOC. First the yellow ribbons, then the release of the captain.

Clear as can be.

It is confusing why the crewmembers of the ship had to be debriefed by the FBI, however. No one explained how the removal of their underwear helped one iota in this situation other than to satisfy the perverted inclinations of the agents.

Watching carefully on Fox News, we were told that National Mariners' Day is coming up in May. This is important information we ignore at our peril.

Often we were told that the ship had been surrounded by United States' warships to "send a message." Now this is an interesting concept. We also piled tons of Warship material in the straits of Hormuz to "send a message" to Iran a couple of years ago. The projected missles to be aimed at Russia from Poland is supposed to "send a message" to either Russia or Iran (it has never been clear which). Tell me, if we are having such budget problems, why don't we use e-mail to send our messages? It's cheaper by far and less likely to be misunderstood.

I didn't mean to stray: We were also told that the Captain voluntered to be a hostage because he was like a good shepherd (in keeping with the Easter spirit, I suppose).

National security also was mentioned, and that leads to the following issue:

I am still wondering why no one has brought up Dick Cheney's assertion to John King on CNN that the Oklahoma City bombing was done by Al-Quada. I guess Timothy McVeigh was secretly a Moslem?

Oh well, now over 200 mariners are safe and sound due, don't forget, to the hanging of yellow ribbons.

Finally, will someone tell the FBI to return the mariners' underwear?

Unfortunately, since the "rescue," a congressman's plane was mortared, about 4 other ships captured, and the crew is still waiting unification with its captain, currently considered a "hero," right up there with Achilles and Hector.

Meanwhile, Blagojevitch appeared in court and tricked the media so they couldn't get photos of him. This is further proof of how corrupt he is, but he said "not-guilty," and threatened that now the "truth will come out." Fitzgerald had better be careful -- there may be a few Republican involved.