THE TALKING DOG

And I have to thank him here. :)

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:

Talking Dog For Sale 

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes around to the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

" You talk? " he asks.

" Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says:

 " So, what's your story ? "

The Lab looks up and says:

 " Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. 

I wanted to help the government, so ... I told the CIA.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. "

" I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

" But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. 

I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. 

I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals."

" Then I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just plain retired. "

The guy is amazed. 

He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

" Ten dollars,' the guy says.

" Ten dollars ? 

This dog is amazing! 

Why on earth are you selling him so cheap ? "

" Because he's such a bullshitter.  

He's never even been out of the backyard "