The Politics of Fear

THE ABSURD TIMES

Illustration: Russia as it sees itself. No need to conjecture one about the U.S., although one hopes the woman would not be Sarah Palin. Notice that this evil empire takes the cowardly way out to say "season's greetings," thus furthering the War on Christmas.

The Politics of Fear

by

Czar Donic

I have spent many hours in the Church of our Father of Higher Misery and Infinite Despair contemplating the best way to start the new year and this is the result.

Warning: Unless you have some idea of what this publication is all about or at least some acute awareness of absurdity, you had best stop reading now.

Perhaps the most worthwhile statement of the Obama era came just before the oath of office and was uttered by Michelle Obama: "It is time to end the politics of fear." Well, that still holds today. It is time to review the politics of fear and how they operate on our population.

It is in the interest of those in power to keep the vast majority of people in a state of fear about one thing or another, just so long as it is not focused on them. For example, by the end of the Bush II administration, the entire country was in a state of collapse. One practice was the unfettered rampage of anti-social capitalism. People would build a cheap house, value it at half a million dollars, and then mortgage it out to people who could in no way afford such a price. It was done by the variable interest rate and low down payments. Soon, the interest rate would increase, the people were thrown out on their asses, but the mortgage was sold to another bank at its face value. Actually, several would be lumped together. Their face value would increase and then be passed on again. Eventually, this collapsed, banks were "too big to fail," and were thus bailed out by the people who actually pay taxes. This was an event worthy of fear, but the populace was occupied with fearing other things. We will examine some of them here to start off the new year on a happy note.

One of the most evil group of people are smokers. They must be stamped out with dispatch. Don't even let them in your stores, houses, or neighborhoods. If you have to, be sure to demand they not indulge in this vile, disgusting, and dangerous practice. It is especially dangerous in you do not smoke. Of course, Obama started out with a lot of good ideas, but he spent so much energy NOT smoking that he eliminated the public option from healthcare and thurned the whole thing into a profit for insurance companies. 25% of you policy goes to them in overhead, while the total in Medicare is 3%. Imagine if the entire country had free healthcare. It would be SOCIALISM!!! EVIL, EVIL, BAD, NAUGHTY! No, we must have freedom!

Watch out for black people. They are after your money. That's why we have cops sent out to kill as many of them as possible. It is for your safety. Don't worry about how much money is spent of weapons to attack other countries when there are so many black people around. Why, they are even trying to invade Hungary! They are everywhere. Why we only have one brilliant black man in the country who is trying to save us from evil and he is on the Supreme Court. That's right, the brilliant genius Clarence Thomas who is so perceptive he can even see pubic hair invading cans of Pepsi. But one black man can not stem the tide of takeover. No, if we want our Pepsi free of pubic hair, we can not rely on Clarence Thomas alone.

Islam is after you and your women. That's right. Take steps now like people in Kentucky making Sharia law illegal. Forget that Constitution, just save us from the evils of Sharia! If you don't think that Islam is as an evil fore to be reckoned with, but look at Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House and therefore third in line for the Presidency. He is wearing a beard. The next thing you know, he will be beheading people. Maybe he already has. Who knows?

We are being invaded right now by immigrants! Look out! They want to poison your kids with illegal drugs and rape your women. Sure, Obama deported a record number, but we can't give him any credit. He's black and does that just to look good. Now we have to admit that immigrants will do some jobs that Americans find top dirty and demeaning. Two out of three of Donald Tramp's wives are immigrants, for example. Forget about Marla Maples. She was an evil seductress who caused Donald much pain and broke up one of his marriages on her way to a lucrative career holding up round umber cards and professional boxing or martial arts contests [Who cares which?]. We just have to stop this sort of thing.

These environmentalists are also evil and working against the greater good for private profit. Why, if it were not for the efforts of the oil companies producing carbon dioxide and methane into the air (cows farts just can't do the whole thing alone), there would still be a drought along the Mississippi River down below St. Louis. As it is, the whole are is basking in the glory of more and more water, along with human waste which will eventually become a valuable fertilizer. Anyway, we know that Earth will eventually be unable to sustain any sort of life. The sun will expand, explode, consume most of the solar system and then contract into a dense object. Your bodies will be sucked in as well. Dead or alive, you are doomed.

You may not realize this, but there are baby killers out there as well. No wonder some noble self-sacrificing individuals attack such killing factories to save future babies. Once they are born and about 3 months old, then it is time for then to go out and get a job. They can't expect us to be supporting them and giving them a free ride.

Have a good year!