Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Occupy Rhubarb

THE REAL RHUBARB




    Things in the Corporate News are getting hard to follow these days as that news has become surreal, a fantasy, to the point where we can no longer distinguish what was actually said or reported or not.  However, we will do our best to assemble what seems to have passed in front of us.

Guy Fawkes

So, let's start with the news as reported on the Corporate News Network, (CNN), verbatim as it seemed.  It started with an interview:

     "Hello, this is Wolfgang Blitzkrieg, Chancellor of the greatest news team in television ever, and I have with me, by remote, the incredible Mitten Romney, Governor.  Mr. Governor, thank you for being here, on CNN, the greatest news network in television."
    "Well, thank you Walfgang.  Say hell to the gang.  I have several friends who own news networks."
    "That's Wolfgang, Mr. Governor."
    "No, I don't think so.  One is named Rupert."
    "Well, Mr. Governor, we want to ask you about your stance."
    "I have a very wide stance, as you know Wolfgang, but I firmly believe that 'the people should not be afraid of their government; their government should be afraid of its people'."
    "Well, you heard it here, Mittgang Romney calling for smaller government.  And now these public service messages."



And of course

Free Palestine


At this point, we lost contact with Wolfgang, but was able to capture an exchange with Keith Olbermann:

"Q.: You think yer so hot -- did you ever get the Pulitzer Prize"
"A: You do know that the Pulitzer is for print media, right?"
"Q: Well, how long do you think you'd last at Fox which is Fair and Balanced?"
"A: Fox is hell, so I imagine for eternity."

The fish on Twitter just never learn.

This has been a special report for the Rhubarb, the greatest internet news team anywhere.  


"This is Wolfgang Blitzkrieg again with the greatest news team ever with a special report from our pentagon Correspondent, Stephen Cobbr.  Steven, what is the latest on the Secret Service Scandal"

"I'm glad your asked, Wolfgang."

"That is why we are the best.
 

"Right you are.  So, not only will our poor grandchildren owe billions to China, but also our poor grandchildren will owe $47 to a Columbian prostitute."

"Were they having sex?"

"Wolfie, you are the #@#..."  At this point, the signal faded again.

No comments: