Saturday, November 20, 2010

Honest Charlie Revealed



I promised a few of you that I would explain why I used the nickname "Honest Charlie," and I am going to now,

BUT FIRST....


A few words about this planet and those who inhabit it:



From www.whatnowtoons.com, Keith Tucker sums up one idiocy well,

But I would like to continue.

I actually have not been on an airplane for over a decade.  Frankly, the idea of standing in line, walking past a great deal of idiocy, and not saying something that might be interpreted as a pun, is a formidable challenge to me.   I also remember one of the last times, in the 90s, when everything was x-rayed and searched, only to wind up at my destination, opening my briefcase, and seeing a 9-inch blade fall out, one I had confiscated years ago.   You have no idea what sort of temptation I find that.

Our "protectors", of course, are always searching for the previous danger, thus making clear to a potential terrorist what sort of tactics to explore the next time.  Remember that very strange, mentally retarded looking fellow, who attempted to burn the heel of his show with a kitchen match?  He is why hundreds of thousands of Americans are required to take off their shoes at the airport.  What terrorist with an IQ over 70 is going to contemplate repeating that fiasco and, if you find one, where is he going?

Now the choice is to pose for porno frontal nudity photos or be felt up. 

Is it time for a "Don't ask don't tell" policy for TSA employees?

"Ok, now I'm going to grab one nut in my hand both from the front to the back."
"Never mind, I'll pose for the smut shot."

Recently, an olive complexioned man was accosted after leaving the bathroom on an airplane.  They said he had to take his shoes off.  He said "But I'm wearing flip-flops!"  They landed the plane and had him arrested.

The senate will not pass the tax cut bill for anyone making up to a quarter of a million dollars.  Republicans insist that it has to go up to the first two-million.  Oh, yes, the median earnings of a Senator seems to be about 1.5 million. 

No extension of the unemployment benefits.  Can't be encouraging laziness, you know, or as the British call it the "work-shy".  Are those sick people really just "health shy?"

Oh, yes, Honest Charlie.  Well, I work in the mental health area and sometimes have to discharge a patient before they are well or, to put it another way, when their insurance will not pay anymore.  Some of them, especially females, borderline, become very clingy and high maintenance.  So, I don't use my real name.  Tired of being stalked.

So, once traveling along I-70, just escaping the Kingdom of Calloway (Calloway County), traveling West, I saw a used furniture store called "Honest Charlie's".  He eventually went out of business.  Some of my friends called me Charlie, so it fit.

But I did not use it until after I saw an old W.C. Fields movie.  He was tending bar, when someone gave him the straight line "How did you get the name "Honest John?"

Well, he answered in that wonderful inflection and voice something like this: "I was tending bar not so long ago in Upper Sandusky.  Every night, this gentleman would come in, come up to the bar, order a drink, and take this glass eye out and lay it on the bar.  When he finished his drink, he would pick up that glass eye and put it back in its socket.  One night, he forgets to pick up his glass eye and I put it in my pocket.  The next night he comes in and I says to him 'Here, here's your glass eye,' and ever since that night, I've been known as Honest John."

I liked that, and hence the handle.

So now you know the rest of the story.


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