The Absurd Times

ILLUSTRATION FROM KEITH TUCKER AT WWW.WHATNOWTOONS.COM

BP has finally gotten everything straight for the "small people". 

Of course, I'm wondering who those small people are.  In all the coverage of the attack on the gulf with crude oil, I have not seen one midget or dwarf.  They are, after all, the ones who want to be called the little people, but that's different from small people, I guess.  The big people are BP.  The small people is us.  I understand that, in Swedish, the term is not as demeaning.  So why is a Swede speaking for British Petroleum?  Globalization, that's it.

A R from Texass apologized for Obama's "shakedown" of BP.  Shame on you, Obama.  Or is it shame on Texass?

Recently, a statue of Jesus, fifty feet tall, with his arms reaching up into the sky as if signaling a field goal in football, was struck by lightening.  The insurance company called it an "act of God".  There is no information as to whether that meant it was covered or not.  More important, what are the theological implications?  It must have something to do with "graven images," although how graven the statue was is beyond us.

A man by the name of Green is the Senatorial candidate for the Democratic Party in South Carolina.  He won 60% of the vote in the primary by never saying a word.  He said a few words since, but they were meaningless.  His opponent is Vitters, I believe.  If Green continues not to say a word through November, he will be the elected Senator.  I think he will then be immune for the obscenity charges against him.  Maybe not. 

Rand Paul is the senatorial candidate from Kentucky.  He must take his first name from Ayn Rand, the dead, but still insane, authoress.  He claims to be a board-certified eye-doctor, but the AMA says it knows of no approved board that certified him.  Well, that means nothing.  All he had to do was put his hand on a board, look up into the sky, and say "I am certified".  That would be Ann Rand's advice. 

Since raw materials valued at over one trillion dollars was discovered in Afghanistan,  more NATO troops have died as well as civilians.  How did our raw materials get buried in Afghanistan?  Somebody had better keep better track of them.