Palin, Cops, Beer, and Healthcare

THE ABSURD TIMES

Illustration: Sarah Palin by Hugh Ralinovsky. Actually, the paraphrase makes more sense than anything she actually said. Below is the address of a clip of William Shattner reading her farewell speech (NBC forced Youtube to take it off because of copyright violations, cheap bastards). However, in the interest of accuracy (as if that's relevent when mentioning Palin), the "poem" is really taken from statement she made on her Twitter account and read by some masochist:

www.tonightshowwithconanobrien.com/video/clips/shatner-does-palin-072709/1139665/ -

The only real disturbing thought I have about all of this is that there are millions of voters out there who adore her and would vote for her.

A lot has happened recently. Keep in mind I'm not making this up, ok?

Awhile ago, a policeman was dispatched to a home in Harvard Square in Cambridge, Mass. A prominent Professor was just returning from a trip to China and had trouble getting into his own home. He finally did get in, at which time the officer entered the home and asked for his identification. He produced a Harvard ID and a drivers license, proving that he was the lawful resident of the home. He then asked the officer for his badge number and name. The conversation was not the most polite, but the officer then arrested Professor Gates for Disorderly Conduct and handcuffed him, showing this black man who was the real boss.

At a press conference on healthcare, Barak Obama was answering questions when the last question was about the incident and he remarked that the police had "acted stupidly."

I pause for a definition here: A political Gaffe occurs when a politician tells the truth when it it not in his best interest to. So, Obama committed a Gaffe -- pretty unusual for him.

Now I have a friend from Chicago named Peter Verochensko, better known as Pete. Pete was usually found after work hours at the local tavern on a barstool watching sports on TV, or Aerobics when the instructor was female.

I was telling him this story to get the reactions of a real Chicagoan.

As things heated up, poor policeman attacked by the President, another black man who was the Henry Gates' friend, Obama suggested that he mispoke and that all three should meet at the White House for a beer.

I was about to tell about all the discussion of what brand of beer, the President being called Racist on the F* channel, and so on, but Pete stopped me.

"Wadda minute willya? Did ya say A beer? Singular? Wat is dat? Is he insultin dem or insultin beer? Ya wanna drink beer, get bout tree cases and sit by duh TV and DRINK BEER! I'm not votin' no more."

I pointed out that he had never voted anyway, and he said "Serves dem right fer shuttin down da bars. Usta be ya could get a few free ones if ya voted."

A major concern now is that none of them chose Samuel Adams beer, one that is owned by Americans. All the others are owned abroad. Milwaukee? Forgeddaboutit. Pete was not interested and I heard him turn on the TV.

I started to ask Pete what he thought about the Boston Cop who called either Gates or Omama a "jungle monkey," and he said "Guy gotta be an old fart. Hey! Da Sox game is startin' and it's in HD. Bye," and I knew from past experience that I wouldn't hear from him for weeks.

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Now the Health Care Legislation has been stopped for a few weeks. The well-funded agencies, paid by the insurance companies, are distributing commercials that say, for example, elderly people will no longer be eligable for life saving operations but they will have to pay for abortions, doubtless for "teenage immigrant welfare mothers on drugs."

All sort of scare tactics will be used. It is almost certain that even the American people will be influenced by them. Meanwhile, the Republicans will be in lock-step against it.

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I'm wondering if this planet is worth the effort. Perhaps global warming is a good idea as it will eradicate the Human Race and then the planet will heal itself again and some new life-form will emrege?

We can only hope.

Or, as Pete says, "Fergeddaboutit!"

One of You sent the following observations:

There was a time a few years back when doctors went on strike or some such and it turned out fewer people died during that time. Maybe we will discover a similar phenomenon with the furloughs of civil workers in government? But don't expect that to lead to permanent layoffs. For one, they'd become unemployed and at very high wages.

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Another thought I have is with fewer jobs, and diminished revenue, what balances the equation is a sudden drop in people being a drain on the downsized society. Traditioinally this is carried out through plague and war. This time they may be carefully orchestrated - a so called terrorist incident or the swine flu. Notice it affected the young and fit the most. Oh well, one can go crazy imagining conspiracies. Like imagine one where they poison all the junk food, so only health nuts survive?