Sunday, August 10, 2008

Let's Really Investigate

The Absurd Times








Illustration: Visit www.whatnowtoons.com

Now for the real issues. The media is really trying its best to cover the burning issues of the day.
Why, I've noticed that all the networks have run Paris Hilton's response to John McCain's silly phallic-ridden ad, and the McCain campaign thanked her for agreeing with McCain's energy policy (it didn't).
The latest big story, no, not the invasion of Gerogia -- well, let's look into that. His Decidership announced that "Georgia is a Sovereign nation" and, I assume, Russia should follow our example towards such nations, such as we showed in Iraq and Venezuela and so forth. Putin was with him at the Olympics and replied diplomatically, "Up yours."
But no, I'm talking about what is really important -- Edwards had an affair two years ago. Over and over, and we even get photos of the blonde photographer he had it with. However, if the story is that important, really, they really should dig into it. I mean, was he on top or was she. Did they do it doggie style? Was oral sex involved? She mentioned his being willing to try "new things" -- did they include equiptment or costumes? Handcuffs? How many orgasms did she have? Comon, media, we want to know how to vote and it is your job to get us the facts, so shape up!!


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