INTRO TO LAWN MOWING

THE ABSURD TIMES

Israel and stuff

by

Honest Charlie

Insanity runs, nay gallops, on our planet and there is simply no way to keep up with it even if one had the desire and the stamina necessary for such a task. There are speculations that what used to be called UFOs, since changed to some other three-letter anagram, were observing our planet and it would seem now that they have decided to leave us behind and perhaps return later.¹

Facts are difficult to find in the media and always have been. In this country, it is possible to find numerous media outlets, most of them focused on items such as the FBI raiding the home of an ex-President "they even broke into my safe!" the owner of the property howled with indignity.^{2, strangely,} this ex-President has the advice of someone with a full tattoo on his back would not expect this. Such brainpower is entirely within its grasp.

The process the poor helpless Zionist forces apply to these periodic raids and serial mass murders is "mowing the lawn." This is well-known and first distributed in a conversation between Tarik Ali and Edward Said and is available on Youtube.

Now, the (pardon the expression but some more delicate members that would make this "mixed company" may be reading this) Republicans are very angry right now as Biden is moving somewhat towards repairing the damage done to our country since Ronnie. For example, before him, a Peanut Farmer "nuclear engineer" (he wasn't) installed solar panels in the Whitehouse to start a movement towards fighting global warming and Ronnie immediately had them torn down. Who needs an EPA (a Nixon invention)? He was able to leave Lebanon once it was bombed and smartly kept his manhood alive by attacking Grenada. Now all these wars had nothing to do with ideology but simply were needed to satisfy the arms manufacturers. Of course, the people of this country would not tolerate something like that so, since we renamed the DEPARTMENT OF WAR some decades ago to the DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE, we did need to find something we were defending. "Freedom" has always been popular.³

Yes, the war in the Mideast or "mowing the lawn" seems to be getting lost, but that last point has not yet been exhausted. While we need wars to mollify the DEFENSE industry, sending us, the free ones, the pure and godly, over to another country is rather unpopular, especially amongst those who have figured this out despite our governments' work to prevent such independent reasoning.⁴

Now all these wars had nothing to do with ideology but simply were needed to satisfy the arms manufacturers.

Now, however, reason avails us little. CRT⁵ was attacked as a way to eliminate history from the classroom as it made little white children feel bad. Abortion has a somewhat similar rationale as it does not allow the "little helpless human inside you to make a decision."⁶

So, we have a massive war going on overseas, pay for it and keep people here safe, and let a comedian lead the war against an Enemy and Russia seems a happy choice as they discriminated against Jews.⁷

Yes, we will get to the killing in Palestine shortly, but we do need to establish the background. Fortunately, this can be done without defending Hunter Biden and by calling to mind #45's record achievements as he is now the only President to have been duly impeached twice in one term and also now the only ex-President to have his house searched for violation of the act which was a reaction to Richard Nixon's behavior (taking home after expelled from office 16 boxes of documents, many labeled as "Classified" and there are rumors that he would take his own notes on trips, crumble them up, and flush them down a toilet.

Now, the Illiad tells us the war was basically a love story, but it seems it really had to do something or somehow with Trojans charging tolls for passage on water.⁸

E Unibus Putnam.

Now we come to the tricky part. First, some housekeeping: someone noted that I should be giving Amy Goodman credit on Democracy Now for these interviews as well as for the transcripts that I use here when the program seems of real interest here, so consider that done. In fact, I thought that it was obvious and I have communicated with the staff about it in the past. Anyway, it is the one program that is trustworthy almost ll the time. That is why some years ago corporate forces tried to take it over and were thwarted by people such as Dick Gregory and Michael Moore and many others.

Finally, this interview on the "Lawnmowing" appeared on Monday, there was too much to laugh at in the meantime, and these footnotes are very strange to deal with. So, I will start this on what the word processor considers a different page, but which the internet protocols will interpret how they may.

Well, I've just learned that whatever I am trying to do, technically, is not allowed, so I will first post this Introduction and then, as a separate document, the interview. Please distribute this as much as you can, or I'll have to do that tomorrow and the interview will have to come after that.

One final note: I just saw a clip of someone at a Trump rally asking, genuinely, "Please tell us when we can really use our guns?" It does sound as if he is trying to keep them from mass murder in his name, but who knows?

1Simply for the sake of completion, (unidentified aerial phenomenon), is the term used now, so you had better get used to it, memorize it, and make it an everlasting entry in your memory if wish to discuss the issue and be taken seriously. Our own suspicion is that the items in question were aircraft in development during the Truman and then Eisenhower administrations and the military decided that it was best to encourage the rumors than to hint at the idea that a new aircraft was being developed. You, of course, are free to develop your own views on this as it is most likely meaningless to your life in any case.

2 Not to be confused with the noble Dingo that is commemorated in the Slim Dusty recording of 1959 released on a 78 rpm. Record. For the record, it is now a pretty evenly divided opinion as the Late John Goodman's record titled, as best as it is worth remembering "You don't have to call me darling, darling."

3 It sells well.

4 The elimination of civics was very helpful in this endeavor, but there is much more to do.

5 We have already disposed of Critical Race Theory by pointing out that it does not exist.

Another choice would be Catatonic Rumpfaced Trumpinistas and we are not interested.

6 This could be rectified by having the little human (or fetus) write a note making a choice

and having it notarized.

7 It was even an important issue in Downton Abbey, and as such can not be questioned.

8 The quite plausible alternative is the love story between Paris and Helen of Troy. I heard someone once who claimed to have known Helen of Troy and he was quite reassuring that she did, indeed exist, and was that beautiful. He was asked how he knew this and he pointed out that he had been married to her sister, Zelda who was not that beautiful and, in a pinch, might be able to use her face to launch a canoe. We report, you decide.