THE ABSURD TIMES

Illustration: http://www.whatnowtoons.com

This illustration is a marvelous coincidence as it points out to the central point here -- Thanks Keith!

With the apparent changes in Obama's positions, it is easy to get disappointed and to resolve just to stay home as it is impossible to even consider voting for McCain and we are fed up with voting for the lesser of two evils, although the word "evil" raises this entire spectacle to a level it does not deserve.

The answer is simple, really, but it took me a long time to figure out.

See, children, I was first able to vote in 1964. I had a very clear choice. One candidate said "I don't think our boys should be fighting in Vietnam" and the other said "We should bomb Hanoi into the Stone age." So, it was easy to choose and vote for the peace candidate. There were 20,000 U.S. "Advisors" in Vietnam, all volunteers, at the time. Within two years, Lyndon Johnson, the peace candidate, had escalated the thing into the mess we all know as the Vietnam war which continued untill the Ford administration. But I'm ahead of myself.

During that time, I felt somehow responsible as I had actually voted for that bastard. In 1968, things were so bad, Johnson decided to drop out as McCarthy showed signs of defeating him for the nomination and Bobby Kennedy had also joined in. He was assassinated, probably at the behest of J. Edgar Hoover, before the convention. Daley, in Chicago, the site of the convention issued orders to "maim or kill" any protestors. He said the police "are not there to create disorder, they are there to preserve disorder."

Well, Humphrey was choosen. He had been LBJ's vice President and everyone feared he was running for LBJ's next term. However, the alternative choice was Richard Nixon. I can't convey how onerous a choice he was. However, Benjamin Spock was also running, along with Pat Paulsen of the Smothers Brothers Show, so we could vote for Spock.

The next time, George McGovern ran against Nixon. I could vote for him without fear of feeling responsible if he was elected. Nixon won 49 states. He also killed more U.S. soldiers and Southeast Asians that Johnson ever did and committed many war crimes with his buddy Kissinger. By today's standards, Nixon was liberal. He had to resign because of impending impeachment, which was justified, but not for the reasons stated. Ford took over.

The next time, Jimmie Carter ran. He quoted Bob Dylan and invited Arlo Guthrie to his inaugaration. Not bad, but kept supporting the Shah who had been appointed leader of Iran by the CIA. Reagen made a deal with the Ayatollah not to release the hostages until he could be elected. Then can Iran-Contra.

However, by this time, I had learned the key to voting. Vote AGAINST, not for. that is the only way to do it.

Skip ahead. Gore v. Bush. Chants of "Gore Gore -- Corporate whore" were accurate. No way to vote for Gore, especially after he listened to his advisors after the first debate and shifted. But -- why not vote AGAINST Bush? That's what I did. Even if Gore won, I would not be responsible for his actions. Ah ha!

Next time, after the Supreme Court appointed Bush, Kerry ran against Bush. Kerry had a turncoat named Looserman as VP candidate and blew that election. I could not vote for that mealy mouthed idiot, but I could vote against Bush!

This time, we have McCain v. Obama. No matter how much the media talks about Obama fudging or, to use a Republican term, "flip-flops" (which is the name of a sandle, I take it), we only have to look at McCain to feel it is worthwhile voting AGAINST him! When Wesley Clark said, in response to Bob Schieffer, "being in an airplane and shot down doesn't qualify someone to be President" I knew he was correct. Obama disowned Clark. So? Don't vote for him. Vote Against McCain.

I later found out that this view is not new. W. C. Fields once replied to a question as to who he was voting for and said "I never vote FOR anyone. I always VOTE against."

The alcoholic was right. Only way to keep sanity.