Monday, July 29, 2013

Fwd: [New post] THE NEIN QUARTERLY



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New post on Czar Donic's Blog

THE NEIN QUARTERLY

by czardonic
  1. THE ABSURD TIMES
    "@SteveFainer: Does it pay to subscribe to @NeinQuarterly? Asking for a friend." #intears pic.twitter.com/J2sjSCr0zy
  2. Favorite local linguists, unite! Or something. #danke pic.twitter.com/tw3nHES4c8
  3. While I suffer in silence, I suggest you read something by Elias Canetti and report back.
  5. All will be revealed. Nothing will be revealed. Look for my interview with @little_utopia. Coming soon.
  7. Sorry, friends, feeling sick today. Not in the good way. #backsoon
  8. Think of it as an aesthete tax. #nq #subscribenow
  9. The market told me about your "marginal propensities."
  10. When I despair alone, I prefer to be by myself.
  11. Remember to tip your lovable misanthropic aesthetes. #danke pic.twitter.com/1F2GT2Ysrq
  12. Friedrich is nice name.
     Retweeted by Nein.
  13. This day in 1887: mustache achieves sentience, fights me over soup
     Retweeted by Nein.
  14. Getting nothing for something is the new getting something for nothing. #subscribenow
  15. 3.5 out of 4 @NeinQuarterly subscribers report having both more despair and less capital. Try it today. (PayPal: neinquarterly@gmail.com)
  16. If throwing rocks at peasants isn't a video game, I don't want to be right
     Retweeted by Nein.
  17. *looks at room full of dead gods* who wants walkies?
     Retweeted by Nein.
  18. I need a new catch phrase, something that says modern void, but also includes the trappings of the 19th century
     Retweeted by Nein.
  19. *macbeth in a teacup*
     Retweeted by Nein.
  20. Maybe the problem isn't Monday. Maybe it's Twitter.
  21. Go ahead, say it in German. I've got time.
  22. The Umlaut is the message. #ü
  23. I love you but I've chosen Monday (cc @NeinQuarterly )
     Retweeted by Nein.
  24. You might like German more if you knew it better.
  25. I just send some love to @NeinQuarterly , cause I'm really into supporting failed intellectuals.
     Retweeted by Nein.
  26. As I sit and wait for @NeinQuarterly, I can't help but to imagine the cover to issue 1 (courtesy my daughter) pic.twitter.com/Utx0xwQCzJ
     Retweeted by Nein.
  27. My doctor told me it's a crisis of overproduction. #backwhenitsover
  28. @NeinQuarterly the Invisible Hand doesn't do stop-and-frisk, it just gives you unwelcome squeezes on the go
     Retweeted by Nein.
  29. Are you there, invisible hand? It's me, Adam Smith.
  30. @NeinQuarterly No #failedmarketers Award either? Man, you're taking all the fun out of the agony of late capitalism!
     Retweeted by Nein.
  31. NQ's business model depends on ü. And despair.
  32. @NeinQuarterly It's Monday already? Back to my Nein-to-five
     Retweeted by Nein.
  33. @NeinQuarterly It's monday already? Sigh. My Zeit and my Geist are not in sync.
     Retweeted by Nein.
  34. when i stare into the abyss @NeinQuarterly stares back.
     Retweeted by Nein.
  35. A @NeinQuarterly subscription = fictitious cultural capital. Get yours now. (PayPal: neinquarterly@gmail.com)
  36. There's nothing wrong with the Joseph Beuys business model. @NeinQuarterly pic.twitter.com/E8Kv8PyaUL
     Retweeted by Nein.
  37. I'm building a brand. What's your excuse?
  38. It's not the heat. It's Monday.
  39. It's a beautiful day to rage, rage against Monday.
  40. Sweet broken dreams. (And even sweeter and more broken for NQ subscribers.)
  41. Course Offering: "The Cliché: Critical Theories of Tedious Language" http://www.volkswagenstiftung.de/en/funding/international-focus/post-doctoral-fellowships-in-the-humanities/grants-2013.html … (Surprisingly, not taught by @NeinQuarterly)
     Retweeted by Nein.
  42. It's Sunday. Hug a hipster.
  43. Are you there, society? It's me, social media.
  44. How can I say this nicely: nein.
  45. Quiet despair walks into a bar. Impotent rage walks out.
  46. I have come to monetize Caesar, not to praise him.
  47. Trust me: capitalism isn't as easy as it looks.
  48. Almost done taking Manhattan. In a week I take Berlin. #failedintellectualgoodwilltour
  50. I just subscribed to @NeinQuarterly. I haven't felt this enthused since the revolutionary summer of 68! Okay, I was three then, but still.
     Retweeted by Nein.
  51. A German Sunday walks into a bar. Silently.
  53. In all fairness, brunch will also not be televised.
  54. It's time for a revolution, comrades, and/or brunch.
  55. I was selling subscriptions to a fictitious journal before it was cool. (PayPal: neinquarterly@gmail.com)
  56. It's a beautiful day for writing an ode upon a Grecian urn.
  57. Umlauto ergo süm.
  59. Hire me to legitimize your subject position and/or critique your selfies.
  60. I fought the laws of motion, and inertia won.
  61. Sometimes I wonder about @ubuweb and the Internet. Is art printing life or life printing art?
  62. If all you need is love, you probably don't.
  63. Shit got real. Make it stop.
  64. "@SpencerPI: @NeinQuarterly Who would win in a cage match between ennui and despair?" The cage.
  65. Love should make it all better. But it doesn't. That's why it's love.
  66. Of course I'm conflicted. That's my charm.
  67. The Golden Age of the Selfie-Made Man.
  68. A leitmotif walks into a bar. Bartender: "You, again."
  69. Borges walks into a bar. Orders a Borges. Bartender: "We're out of Borges. But how about a Borges?" Borges drinks his Borges and leaves.
  70. Tweet it like you'll delete it.
  71. Why, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt? Why must this happen whenever we go out?
  72. Trotsky walks into a bar, orders a drink. Bartender: "Neat or on the rocks?" Trotsky: "Take your pick."
  73. An iPhone walks into a Droid.
  74. A structuralist walks into a bar. A post-structuralist walks out.
  76. Tragedy walks into a bar. Leaves shit-farced.
  77. Tragedy's looking more like farce every day.
  78. Thus got Zarathustra his Friday on.
  80. @NeinQuarterly Nein is my desktop. I have become a Neinhilist. pic.twitter.com/zPaYfFLKz2
     Retweeted by Nein.
  81. To err is human. To system error is divine.
  82. I break for dreams.
  83. Honk if you value silence.
  84. A gentle reminder that Facebook is most useful as an allegory.
  85. I thought everybody wanted nothing for something. *firing marketing dept*
  86. I never thought capitalism would be this hard. #subscribenow
  87. Just me and ü this weekend.
  88. When I think of ü, I touch my selfie.
  89. The what is the fuck.
  90. First as tragedy, then as farce, then as interview: we talked to Eric Jarosinski, the man behind @NeinQuarterly: http://www.strollology.com/2013/06/27/eric-jarosinski-nein-quarterly/ …
     Retweeted by Nein.
  91. Civilization is crumbling. Quarterly.
  93. FYI: @ubuweb started printing the Internet before it was cool.
  94. My tickle me @NeinQuarterly keeps nudging me to subscribe
     Retweeted by Nein.
  95. I believe in hope more than it will ever believe in us.
  96. I believe in love. But not love that has never known despair.
  97. I believe in plaid. Not in checks.
  98. I don't believe in Gods who aren't dead.
  99. I don't believe in colors I cannot see.
  100. You be insane. I'll be the membrane. And, you, be the brain.
  101. I don't believe in molecules.
  102. "@BarbarianCap: it's not despair, it's evaporating homeless urine from the sidewalks" It's evaporating sidewalk from homeless despair.
  103. Selfie-destruction. It should happen more.
  104. Someday Borges will be recognized as the greatest German author.
  106. Maybe this is not a God. And the pipe is dead.
  108. Smoke like Hannah Arendt. If you dare.
  109. Joseph Roth isn't impressed.
  111. You subscribed to a fictitious journal published by a #failedintellectual. And I liked it.
  113. Once @ubuweb prints the Internet, I will fold it into a jaunty little hat, place it atop my head, and win your hearts.
  114. All my fallacies are intentional.
  115. I'll start being human once you sign the consent form.
  116. Maybe today's the day you come out as a #failedintellectual.
  117. "@tigerkite: @NeinQuarterly @xiaohuoxing Subscribing to despair is a marriage." Comedies end with weddings. Tragedies start with them.
  118. If you're gonna hate the game, might as well hate the player.
  119. Somebody should write a song about Friday.
  123. The trick is making alienation work for you.
  124. Do not not honk if you love Hegel.
  125. You have my full deficient attention.
  126. See Kafka on pain.
  127. You know, it's like "open access." But closed.
  128. Business models come and go. Despair is forever.
  129. I was XOXO'd by a subscriber. And my PayPal liked it. #danke pic.twitter.com/J27ndDEj0L
  130. I think the poets had a rough night.
  131. Maybe you could try being the change that I want to see in the world.
  132. You touched my monkey. And I liked it.
  133. It's a beautiful day for a going-out-of-business sale at the rag and bone shop of the heart.
  134. We'll always have the Paris Manuscripts.
  135. Erzähl mir von Liebe, @NeinQuarterly Abo.
  136. Freitag is for lovers.
  137. Ein Gespenst denkt um in Europa. Wird Steuerberater.
  138. Freitag. Und es ist gut so.
  139. I'm just here for the capital.
  142. Sorry, comrades, but @NeinQuarterly is no longer for the Gestalt of the earth. #subscribenow
  143. Sorry, friends: my Weltanschauung is now pay-per-view.
  145. You call it speaking. I call it diaphragming a sentence.
  146. Honestly, comrades, I haven't lost all my principles. But I'm trying.
  148. A business model is merely the continuation of the Frankfurt School by other means.
  149. I was commodified before it was cool.
  150. Yes, small cadre of NQ subscribers, you are the vanguard. But mainly me.
  151. Kriegfried Sacauer.
  152. Hansel und Gretel Adorno.
  155. You can filter porn, perhaps, but there's no stopping despair.
  156. "@emanzaidi: @NeinQuarterly Love is for the hobbyist." Love is for the truly desperate. And those who love them.
  158. Despair is not for the hobbyist.
  159. Some of my best friends are @NeinQuarterly subscribers.
  160. Premium Content and Its Discontents.
  163. QED to your mother.
  165. Not to spoil the surprise, but there is no "old Werther."
  167. The Discipline is the Punish.
  168. Most failed intellectuals lacked the proper discipline.
  169. Yes, constructs are "just a construct." That's why they matter.
  170. Once I learn what QED means, I plan to say it a lot.
  171. Nobody said Weltschmerz was going to be fun.
czardonic | July 29, 2013 at 12:38 pm | Categories: Uncategorized | URL: http://wp.me/pt2r1-A6
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Posted by Unknown at 5:00 PM 0 comments

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Putin Me On, Holder, Snowden



THE ABSURD TIMES







 



    Lately, in case it hasn't been shoved down your throat already, Holder sent a letter to Putin promising that the U.S. will not Torture or Kill Snowden if it gets its hands on him.  After all, he points out, "torture is illegal" in the United States, so, er, trust us.

    Right.

    From what we gathered, Snowden's Russian lawyer brought him a book to acquaint him with Russian culture:  Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment.  No, we are not making this up.  Er, who is Porfory in this case?  Marmeladov? 

    A later report changed "culture" to "Literature," but War and Peace was never even hinted at.  (Russia is sensitive about this sort of thing.)

    Snowden is also trying to learn Russian.  The alphabet always stopped me from reading it, or even trying to.  Ever since the CCCP was dissolved, there didn't seem to be any point, but at least St. Petersburg has the original name again, so there is one less footnote in Crime and Punishment.

    I dunno.  Snowden is used to the South Pacific.  Winter in Moscow seems daunting.
Posted by Unknown at 3:10 PM 0 comments

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Weiner to Stick it Out


THE ABSURD TIMES


      
        Now really, who can make this crap up? 
        Anthony Weiner says he will stick it out.  Commentators say there is more coming up and more will come out.
        There are now Carlos Danger dolls for sale in New York.
        Anthony Weiner was upset because the news detracted from his campaign where he was emphasizing the importance of clean, or Kosher, food.
        I really hate to bother anybody with this, but at least he does not have a wide stance?
        Just thought you'd like to know.  Anther reason to be tired with the concrete and so-called "Real World."

        Ta ta!



Posted by Unknown at 5:19 PM 0 comments

Occupy Autumn





THE ABSURD TIMES

  Editorial note:  We will soon be moving away from the abstract, but first another note from Occupy, a Report of Yemen, and then we will print a special edition called WE TOLD YOU SO!  It will list as many of the assertions we first made and that were later shown to be true (in a material sense).  Frankly, we have exhausted our patience with the material as it has nothing more to tell us.

New post on Occupy Cyberspace - American Autumn

Gun Advocates are raising money to Buy Zimmerman Another Gun?! WTF?

by TooDamnEZ
"A pro-gun group fromOhiolaunched a fundraising effort over the weekend to buy George Zimmermana new gun.
On the heels of reports that the Justice Department is placing a hold on all evidence in the case, including the Kel-Tec PF-99mm pistol Zimmerman used to kill unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin, the Buckeye Firearms Foundation announced that it is raising money to buy the former neighborhood watch captain a new gun."*
Does George Zimmerman imminently need another gun? The gun he used to kill Trayvon Martin is under hold so, the Buckeye Firearms Foundation want to collect money for another gun. Jayar Jackson has another idea for buying guns. What is it?
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