THE ABSURD TIMES
We have lost all sense of relative importance. Some commentator mentioned the war in Afghanistan because Obama was giving a speech about it. Have we lost all sense of what is important?
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant! He could be fined up to $150! Now that’s news! Some chick with mousy blonde hair says she didn’t have any affair with him! We must give this attention.
Sarah Palin walked out on a book signing! And we are just going to let the story die after three weeks?
Some blond bimbo from California walked out of an interview with Larry King, for God’s sake! And we are talking about $1,000,000 per soldier we send there? I mean, she got a free pair of enhanced tits! Let’s pay attention to important details!
Huckleberry Hound pardoned a big black guy while he was Governor of Arkansas and he might not run for President! (“He” is definitely left vague here just to keep in style.)
And gee. Another blonde bimbo and her suspiciously named husband crashed the party!! Let’s see the clip again!
What about the balloon boy? He brought so many Americans together! Let’s run those tapes again!
So what if we are sending $30 billion to provide human targets in Afghanistan? Let’s pay attention to what is really important.
Does Annette Funicello still like peanut butter?