The War on Fact and Sanity

THE ABSURD TIMES

Illustration: Favorite sign from massive demonstrations is FRANCE CALLED:  THEY WANT THEIR STATUE BACK.

THE WAR ON FACT

BY

I. CANT

Our, or your, President has declared a war on fact, replacing it with what is well known now, "Alternate Fact".

His latest idiocy was his ban on immigration of any Muslims from certain countries, at least at first.  There is, unfortunately for him, no legal definition of "Bad Dudes," so he left it with seven countries, none of which provided any immigrant who killed a single American on American soil.  The chances of being killed by one from these countries in the future are, according to one source, one in 3.5 Billion.

Deaths caused by immigrants from which Trump owns property and are Muslim are 2,389 from Saudi Arabia, 324 from the UAE, and 162 from Egypt (according to the Cato Institute).

The ban on a specific religion is unconstitutional according to the first Amendment, as is the exception for Christians.  Forcing those who did land while being in the air as the order was signed to give their social media "handles" is a violation of the Fourth Amendment (search and seizure) and the fifth (due process). The 14^th or 15^th is quite specific on "equal protection."  Choosing countries in which he owns property or financial interests for exclusion would violate the now well-known "emoluments" clause. 

The Attorney General has not yet been confirmed (Jefferson Beauregard Sessions) and the acting Attorney General refused to enforce it.  She was fired.  This reminds everyone of the "Saturday Night Massacre" of the Nixon Administration.  This is when Elliot Richardson refused to fire a Special Prosecutor of Watergate, so instead he resigned, followed by his Action Attorney General, and so it stood until Nixon appointed Robert Bork to do it.  Still, people wonder why Bork was not confirmed for appointment to the Supreme Court. 

The first 100 days is usually thought of as the honeymoon period, but we seem to be heading straight to the divorce.  Looking at the Gallup ratings, it took over 1,000 days for Bush senior's disapproval to be higher than his approval ratings.  Clinton was the shortest, less than 600, but his ratings did go way up once the Lewinski scandal started.  In 8 days, Trump achieved this.

We are still waiting for his investigation to prove the 3 to 5 million illegal votes cast for Hillary Clinton (he said he'd prove that).  No matter, we are still waiting for the investigation of all the Brooklyn voters who disappeared from the voter roles, the Sanders voters.

He is about to name a Supreme Court nominee.  I am out of here before that happens.  You know what the idiot is doing, and my pointing it out would simply be redundant.

Later. Here is more if you can tolerate it:

President Trump's immigration order drew immediate legal challenges. On Saturday, the ACLU asked a federal judge to intervene in the case of two Iraqis detained at JFK airport. On Saturday night, U.S. District Judge Ann Donnelly in Brooklyn ordered the men released as part of a nationwide stay on part of Trump's executive order. Her ruling temporarily blocked the deportation of valid visa holders, including those from countries listed in Trump's ban. In Boston, Carl Williams, a lawyer from the ACLU, announced the legal victory while standing in front of hundreds of protesters at Logan International Airport. Judges in California, Massachusetts, Virginia and Washington quickly followed with similar rulings, and the Department of Homeland Security said on Sunday it would comply with the orders. But some lawmakers report Customs and Border Protection officers are defying the courts.

---

TRANSCRIPT

This is a rush transcript. Copy may not be in its final form.

JUAN GONZÁLEZ: Omar Jadwat of the ACLU, your take—your organization's take on this executive order? What you did immediately?

OMAR JADWAT: Yeah, well, I mean, the take on it, maybe not too much I can add to that analysis except put some legal gloss on it. The take on it is that Donald Trump promised us a Muslim ban when he was running for president. Within a week of taking office, that's what he ordered. That's unconstitutional. It's subject to being struck down by the courts eventually, and we've won the first victory in that process with the stay that was ordered on Saturday. You know, there's more work to be done, obviously, in that process. But the degree to which this administration has been nakedly discriminatory—

JUAN GONZÁLEZ: And it's unconstitutional why?

OMAR JADWAT: Because the government can't discriminate against a particular religion. It can't favor one religion over another. You know, and this does both, right? Not only does it ban people—it's an imperfect Muslim ban, right? Doesn't get every Muslim in the world, but it's a Muslim ban. And, as Donald Trump himself explained, there's a specific provision to favor Christians from among the refugees that would otherwise be banned.

AMY GOODMAN: So let's talk about exactly what happened in the courts. On Saturday, the ACLU asked a federal judge to intervene in the case of two Iraqis detained at JFK airport. On Saturday night, U.S. District Judge Ann Donnelly in Brooklyn ordered the men released as part of a nationwide stay on part of Trump's executive order, her ruling temporarily blocking the deportation of valid visa holders, including those from the countries listed in Trump's ban. Now, if you could talk about who, Omar, these two Iraqis were—one of the Iraqis, a translator, who soldiers around the country started to stand up for, said, "He saved our lives." Talk about Darweesh.

OMAR JADWAT: I mean, so—I mean, and this, this is the face of who a Muslim ban hits, right? It's people like Nisrin. It's people like Mr. Darweesh, who worked for the U.S. military for 10 years in Iraq, put his life on the line for our country in a way that most Americans don't, and, because of what he did, you know, was trying to come to the United States and escape the possibility of retribution for what he had done for our country. We have a special immigrant visa process for folks who have helped the military abroad. He got one of these visas, got fully vetted for it, went all the way through the process, gets to the airport, and they say—well, they told him, you know, potentially that they were going to deport him back.

JUAN GONZÁLEZ: Let's go to Hameed Darweesh speaking at JFK after he was released.

HAMEED DARWEESH: This is the soul of America. Now, this is what pushed me to move, leave my country and come here. And I'm very, very thankful to all the people who come to support me. Thank you very much. And always, when we are kids 'til now, we know America is the land of freedom, the land of freedom, the land of the right.

REPORTER: What do you want to say to Donald Trump?

HAMEED DARWEESH: I like him, but I don't know. This is a policy. I don't know. He's a president, and I'm a normal person. But I have a special immigration visa in my passport, me and my family, because I worked with the U.S. government. I supported the U.S. government from the other side of the war. But when I came here, they said no. And they treat me as I break the laws or do something wrong. I'm surprised, really.

JUAN GONZÁLEZ: That was Hameed Darweesh speaking at JFK after he was released from detention. But I wanted to ask you: The judicial order prevents any deportations, but not the denial of visas, right, to people coming into the country?

OMAR JADWAT: Right. And that's one of the reasons I say that there's much more work to be done in terms of challenging this ban and in terms of striking it down finally. This is, you know, the first step, and it's an important victory, obviously, for the people who had been stuck in airports. But more generally, it's a demonstration of the fact that both the courts, you know, can stand up to the president on these issues and that people around the country can make a huge difference by turning out and by supporting, you know, immigrants who are being threatened by the Trump administration.

AMY GOODMAN: I mean, the turnout was astonishing around the country, thousands of people flocking to the airports.

The original content of this program is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Please attribute legal copies of this work to democracynow.org. Some of the work(s) that this program incorporates, however, may be separately licensed. For further information or additional permissions, contact us.

Trump's Media Manipulation et al.

THE ABSURD TIMES

Illustration: U.S. foreign policy and peace in the Middle East, Latuff

Since about half of our readers are in countries other than the United States (the percentage has been increasing as the number of editions has been decreasing),[1] there seems to be considerable confusion and frustration at the activities of President Trump.[2]  Quite often, there is reference to "method in his madness," but that is a quote from Shakespeare's Hamlet.  Shakespeare, like the authors of the "Bible," is often quoted out of context.  The quote is from Polonius, clearly a fool employed by the usurping King to spy on Hamlet, the hero of the play.  He also said "To thine own self be true," so why quote one about Trump without the other?

Much of what Trump says is sensationalistic, spectacle as Aristotle calls it, and used to amuse the masses while not of any real significance.  The problem, then, is separating the real from the spectacle.  The spectacle is a diversion for the real, but is beginning to have very significant consequences for the U.S. and for the rest of the world.

One of his very real goals is to please his daughter.  Trump dotes on his daughter.  No, he really dotes on his daughter, He dotes so much that it amounts in incest in his heart.  Now, she wants Daddy dearest to make sweetheart a big man, and so he is charged with making peace in the Middle East.  The first move is to encourage the building of more Israeli settlements in Palestinian areas of Jerusalem [where he wants the American Embassy].  This is a real goal.  Erekat has sent five letters without a single response. Hamas will undoubtedly gain from this.

His praise of torture and waterboarding is part of his style.  I know several people who have water boarded and some who have been water boarded and it is quite clear that, after five minutes of it, Donald J. Trump would confess to the Manson Murders.  (Probably only 3 minutes needed.)

Signs from Mexico: YA BASTA!!  GRINGO RACISTA!   The President of Mexico cancelled his visit to meet with Trump.  This is highly unusual since he is under immense pressure from the "elites" in Mexico, the major corporations and wealthy, to do whatever the U.S. wants.  He has a 12% approval rating, but that is expected to rise. 

Teresa May visited and pointed out that if Trump goes forward with water boarding, England will not share intelligence with the U.S., not that she has that much to spare as it is.  She knows, of course, that it will not happen and, anyway, it was not very well covered in our press.

As to the voter fraud issue: this takes some clarification.  There is a difference between election fraud and voter fraud.  If a person votes without being eligible to vote and uses falsified evidence to obtain the right to vote, that is voter fraud.  It has been expanded by Trump to include being registered to vote in two or more states, and so far at least five members of his administration are thus guilty.  Steve Bannon is the most obvious. 

Election fraud is more prevalent and does, indeed, exist.  I know from personal experience having grown up in Chicago, where Nixon was kept out of the White House for the first time (1960).  It is, however, more recently practiced widely in the south, especially ever since Nixon began his "southern strategy" and has increased ever since.  Voter suppression comes under this heading.  In 1990, Pat Buchanan carried his own district by 70% and it is overwhelmingly Jewish.  He, himself, said on multiple accessions that he did not win that district by 70%.  This year was simply insane and there is no need to analyze it.  Mainly, the electoral college is designed to keep the masses for electing an unqualified rabble-rouser to the Presidency, and it obviously did not work.  The Democratic Party made sure that Sanders was not nominated even though he would have won Michigan, Wisconsin, and many other states that Hillary lost.  To use a phrase of Trump's, it was "rigged".

But what about Russia and interference in our election?  Do we ever do that?  Here is a chart:

 

---

[1] Simply put, it is so obviously absurd today that comment seems redundant.

[2] The electoral college is designed to prevent a rabble-rouser from being elected who is clearly unqualified.  It doesn't work.

Hitler is Offended, Trump Thinks Crowds Are Huge

THE ABSURD TIMES

 I believe, owner of the Professional Wrestling Whatever 

and Trump nominee for Education Secretary

It does sweem to be time for this again.

First, the editor of NeinQuarterly says that "Hitler is getting angry at being compared to Trump," so cut it out!

We are now told that the best weapon we have against Trump is comedy.  Seems he lives in fear of comedians.  At least, that's Michael Moore's take on it.  So, perhaps it is worth a review of some of the funnier things about his administration (sounds funny already).

The first problem with this is the valuable advice given decades ago by Bernard Shaw: "I always tell the truth. It's the funniest joke ever."  So, we can just report, you decide.

Perhaps the hearings of Trump's nominees are a good place to start.  Betsey DeVoss is the star of this hearing, and quite clearly knows almost nothing about education.  This is a good start, because one would think that she then has no nonsense to unlearn.  However, as head of the WWE, and sister to Eric Prince (of Blackwater infamy), she wants to privatize the public school system.  Now this does not mean allow private K-12 schools to exist, but to take taxpayers' money and give it to religious institutions.

The two most pertinent senators questioning her were Bernie Sanders and Al Franken.  Sanders set her up by asking if she seriously thought she would even be there is she had not given so much money to Republican politicians.  She said yes, meaning she was qualified and knowledgeable.  

Then Franken asked her where she stood on the debate between proficiency and growth.  Now this is an easy question for those interested in education in the K-12 realm, but is a bit confusing for those otherwise inclined.  Proficiency is simply the definition of the standards for, say, 4^th, fifth, and sixth Grade levels.  How many of your students, if you are a teacher, have attained the level mandated?  If enough, you win. 

On the other hand, growth is more complicated, which perhaps is why she does not comprehend it.. If you are a fifth grade teach, and have several students who entered with a second grade proficiency and when tested after months of your teaching increase to a fourth grade level, you lose.  If one of your students enters at the sixth grade level, and you bore the shit out of him and he tests at the fifth grade level, that's fine.  Obviously, growth is more important than proficiency. 

Personally, many fellow students who achieved A level evaluations from their teachers while I did not, strangely enough did not test on standardized tests in the upper 1% as I did.  Obviously, I was less able to disguise my impatience with stupidity than fellow classmates.  But I digress.

Ringling Brothers is closing down it's circus.  Obviously, the competition from a Trump Administration is too much.

The first major debate of the new Administration is the crowd size of the inauguration.  Now, I must thank God for the rain on Trump's parade.  I mean that literally (in the correct sense of the word).  See, I asked God on Twitter to make it rain on Trumps' parade.  He asked if I wanted toads and snakes or "just the regular stuff"? I said just the regular stuff and he obliged.  Thanks again!

So, how many did show up? Not many, especially when compared to Obama's.  However, both were easily eclipsed by demonstrations around the world, London, Paris, Athens, Rome, and of course New York, Idaho (remember them?), Fargo, St. Louis, of course Chicago (go Cubs), and just about any other city.  The best sign award goes to Paris, France, of "Down with Stupidity". 

Madonna said something that offended news channels, but I didn't hear what it was.  What the fuck did she say?  Any ideas? Ah, piss on it.

Trump's Intelligence Report

THE ABSURD TIMES

So much fuss over this, we thought we'd put part of it online here.  It's also available in full (pdf format) at BUZZFEED.      It is clearly labeled somewhere as "disinformation," and what in our corporate is not disinformation?  At any rate, what the hell?  Why not?  It is kinda funny at least.

Putin, Trump, Russia, hacking, Absurdity

THE ABSURD TIMES

Our New President – Congratulations, American Political System.

In October of 2016, the impossible happened.  The Cubs (founded in 1896 as the White Stockings) won a world series.  Chicago  had enjoyed gloating at the effete fans in Boston complaining about the curse of Babe Ruth who was traded to the Yankees to fund a musical.  Really, how could that possible compare to a curse on behalf of a goat?[1]  Clearly, we had things more substantial.  Well, the last time the Cubs even got into a series, we dropped the Atom on Japan (all of this in previous editions).  So what horrible catastrophe could the United States come up with to counter that?  Easy, Donald Trump is now President.   He is the latest in a series of people, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Donald Trump.  Fits right in.

We have not bothered with an edition for 2017 for several reasons.  During past administrations, many absurdities occurred that were not obvious to everyone.  For example, we had a President, a Noble Peace Prize Laureate, who had a hit list including American Citizens, that he pondered each Tuesday.  There are others, such as Bush the Younger with an Oedipus complex that resulted in a catastrophic war in the Mid-East that leaves it unstable for the foreseeable future.  Dan Quayle and Sarah Palin were delightful absurdities in their own right.

Recently, however, there have been so many obvious absurdities that it seemed redundant and overwhelming to us to point them out.  However, the time has come and so we must proceed.  Before going any further, we feel obligated to point out that we are very old fashioned here.  Even though FACT has been assailed ruthlessly for about two years now, it is only with the election that it has died as relevant in any contemporary discussion.  We still find them (facts) useful, however, so we will use facts anyway in this post-fact era.

Our first prediction is that the entire United States, in the middle of the daylight hours, and the United States only, the sun will go out.  That's right, no sun during one day in the month of August when the Baseball season is in full gear.

There is perhaps one valid reason to suspect that Vladimir Putin wanted to see Donald Trump elected President of the United States.  Suppose you were Vlad.  In 2011-12, he was running again for President of Russia.  Hillary orchestrated a massive campaign to stir up opposition against him, including "fake news".  Now, after the ridiculous and petty sanctions levied against Russia and numerous moves involving NATO and Syria, Russia cannot think kindly of the United States.

Most other countries, at least in the "Northern" area, are quite relieved NOT to have Hillary Clinton to deal with.  Iraq, Libya, the refugee crisis, ISIS, collapse of European Union, etc., are all somehow linked to her.  There is even a tape of her saying to another NATO leader "I think Yaz would be good for us" in reference to Ukraine.

Now, what better way to make the United States the laughing stock of the entire world than to have Donald Trump as its President?  Anything that the U.S. did could easily be explained as ridiculous, meaning deserving of utter ridicule, than to say

"Well, after all, its people elected Donald Trump as their President, the guy who is going to build a wall against Mexico and thinks Mexico will pay for it, says Mexicans are rapists, that Muslims should not be allowed to enter the country (which should give you an indea of how meaningful to so-called bill of Rights is), wants to give nuclear weapons to South Korea, Japan, Indonesia, and any other country that might need them, and who thinks they should have a nuclear war because they actually have nuclear weapons,"

On the other hand, there are many reasons to doubt much of this.

Let us start with the hacking of John Podesta's e-mail account.  Julian Assange has pointed out that Podesta's password was PASSWORD.  You may sputter in astonishment, but I can believe it.  John is not the sharpest techno nerd around Washington.  In addition, the security flaws that allowed the hacks of the DNC that revealed the orchestration to exclude any challengers to Hillary Clinton were actually told to the DNC by the FBI BEFORE the serious stuff came out.  They ignored the warnings.

One final word about Wikileaks: it has NEVER told us of anything we did not already know or at the very least suspect and mention here at the Absurd Times.  It only provided graphic and unassailable documentation thereof. In addition, in a very unscientific poll, people voted over 70% to less than 30% that they place more credibility in Wilileaks than in the American Intelligence Agencies.  This seems to have started with the Gulf of Tonkin "incident" that never happened (again, you can look it up) to Saddam's collaboration with Bin Laden (they hated one another).

Now: on the Trump Administration in the "making": 

Donald Trump has made so many ridiculous appointments so far that commentary on them is a formidable task.  Therefore, we will not attempt it.  We are not mental masochists.

However, we can point out that with so many absurd appointments, there is little opportunity to examine them in any detail.  We have Jeff Sessions to become Attorney General, charged with enforcing civil rights violations, a man who is at best an unrepentant version of the George Wallace of the pre-voting rights days.  We hesitate to call him a white supremacist except in the sense that Dylan Roof is one.  There is nothing at all supreme about him.  One need only see videos of him wearing a Gold's Gym t-shirt.  Gold's gym used to be associated with top bodybuilders during the 70s and 80s.  It then became a chain and bears as much similarity to that association as Starbucks is to the quiet coffeehouses of the Bohemian and Beat life style of the artistic life of the 40s through the early 60s.

One of the more amusing appointees is Rick Perry, appointed to head up the EPA, the Nixon-created Environmental Protection Agency (appointed to deflect attention from some other problems that nobody paid attention to).  Perry announced that he wanted to abolish the agency, but famously could not remember its name during a debate.  This appointment is notable as it may be benign as Mr. Governor Perry (Texas) may be expected to forget what agency it is he is supposed to run and simply wander around the streets of D.C. looking for gum or praying for rain as was his wont in Texas.

Inside of all this mess, there is actually one sane choice, but he was chosen for the wrong reason.  The Ambassador to Russia, Mr. Exxon himself, Billionaire, has been appointed.  The reason he is a fitting choice is the same as was given for the ancient Averill Harriman – a rich capitalist can be trusted to be speaking for the United States in Moscow and the Russians will certainly believe that he speaks with some authority as that is the sort of person who has any influence in this country.

Otherwise, there is not much to say.  We leave you to ponder your post-fact life.  We will return when something amuses, but rest assured that Godot is not coming.

---

[1] Some may have trouble with some of the names listed here.  We refer those people to Wikipedia that will at least identify them quickly and give background.  "Wiki" means "internet" in Latin, after all. [Editor's note: we are constantly amazed at the reaction to this bit of information.  Some will smile, many will simply pass over it as irrelevant, and once is a great while, someone will point out that there was no internet during Roman times.  This is the state of awareness of the public these days.